My Little Lion Man (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Be Brave

Chapter Twenty-Four: Be Brave

"Alright class, listen up for a second and then I'll let you work on the worksheets freely afterwards," Mr. Astrole says sternly, lazily leaning against the edge of his desk at the front of the room. He lifts his finger to pull at and loosen the tie around his neck before picking up a stapled packet of papers. His small glasses fall to the tip of his nose from where they were perched on his thick salt and pepper hair as he leans forward to read the papers in front of his face.

I lean back in my chair, moving my hands up through my messy hair and stretch out a small yawn. The muscles in my chest pull taught as my back bends and my arms stretch back towards my shoulder blades, my eyes squeezed tight as I let out a groan because my back finally cracked. My body feels heavy. My eyelids don't seem to want to see the sun ever again because all they do is droop closed every time I open them. I just want to sleep and yet the idea of dreaming makes my eyes fly open immediately.

I pull the hem of my baggy white and purple striped collared shirt down over the strip of my stomach that was showing from my stretching, covering my mouth as another yawn bubbles up my throat and out of my mouth. People are already staring at me and I don't really like the attention. I look across the room and see Flynn looking at the spot next me with one eyebrow raised and an amused smirk plastered on his face. He turns his gaze to me and wiggles his eyebrows playfully before winking and turning back around to face Mr. Astrole who is still talking for some reason.

My eyes wonder to my right and a small smile graces my lips as I see Benji slumped over in his chair with his head resting on his arms on top of his desk. It seems as though he's enraptured by our biology teacher, but I can see his cold blue eyes are positioned so that they are staring directly at me with his face still facing forward. They're watching my stomach, seemingly captivated, before they travel up my chest, over my shoulders, and grace my whole face before our gazes meet.

I tilt my head slightly as we stare at each other, completely ignoring Mr. Astrole's babbling that probably won't help me later in life.

Benji's whole body is stiff and he looks hesitant to pull away from me but then doesn't. It's like he can't look away...which I understand because I can't either. A small smile of course stretches across my face because it's like no matter how much Benji tries to distance himself from me he just keeps giving me these small signs. Like he wants to be comfortable around me and he wants to be closer but no matter how close he gravitates to me there are these evil demons in his mind yanking on chains tied to his limbs, pulling him away from me a little every time he takes a step forward.

I lean forward on impulse, his stare too much for my hormones. I know maybe I should have asked first but I just couldn't think clearly with him staring at me like I was important. Like I meant something to someone. Like I was more than that weird flamboyant kid that had no bounds and no self-respect. I'm just that loud narcissistic kid to a lot of people. But they don't know me, you know? They have never once stopped and asked me why I have to fill the quiet with my voice, why I always have dark bags under my eyes that are only visible when I smudge my concealer, or why I'm always surrounded by people and yet I still feel so alone.

No one ever asks the right questions because they never want to hear the answer.

And Benji...he made me feel something different. Like my existence might matter. Like maybe I could matter to him in the future? I don't know, maybe I'm just losing my mind from lack of sleep and ingesting too many raw pancakes (because let's face it I can't cook) but I think Benji might actually care for me. And I know I might be pushing things too fast...but in the moment we were friends and kissing each other's noses is what friends do, right?