A Woman's Worth II (Book #2)

Chapter 5: Dealings

Ahayah

"I'm just not happy you know? My life changed and it's horrible I feel like I'm floating in an empty hole of sorrows." I cried while Natalie my new psychiatrist wrote whatever down on her notepad. I really didn't wanna come here but Blue suggested it when I flipped out on her. I ain't mean to it's just my head is somewhere else.

"Earlier you mentioned your ex Jamaica and the entries she left in your phone. When was the last time you read one?" She asked causing my head to pop up. "You know what I read one and forgot all about them." I sighed and took out my phone unlocking it. "Feel free to read it out loud or in your head it doesn't matter. I wanna record your actions when you read it in my notepad." I nodded my head and pulled up entry number two.

"Its been a couple weeks since I last saw Ahayah. A couple weeks since I broke it off. I feel bad hell yea cause I love that girl. But I can't hold her down. I'm sorry I just can't. I went to the club with Hazel and Love and I couldn't help but admire the women with lust filled eyes. If I were to do something like that while in a relationship I'd feel horrible. Id kick myself in the ass everyday. Anyway. I just wish she was here so that we could be together. I smell her clothes and touch her things everyday because I miss her. Ugh this gone be hard for me..."
-Maica

After reading the entry I nearly slammed my phone down but I caught myself. "So many people say they here for me but wind up leaving me! Why?! Why am I such a bad person? Why can't I keep anything?!" I screamed my anger rushing. My body started to heat up causing my blood to boil. "Take this... you need it." she told me throwing me a stress pillow. The one that gets warm when you cry and softer when you're mad.

I tilted my head up at her and started punching the pillow. As hard as I could. My kicks started to come next until someone called me that name. "Valencia." Valencia was my mommy. Thats my mommy's name, how did she... When I turned around it wasn't her there it was Analaa standing in front of her. "Valencia said calm down Ahayah. She don't like you like this." Analaa said cautiously walking up to me.

My eyes darted across the room trying to find something to take my anger out on. But there was nothing. Natalie scooted the chairs away but when? Where was I when all of this was... Huh? My eyes finally wandered over to the mirror where I saw me. Me? Is that me. There in that mirror was a woman with her hair stickin up on her head and her clothes in a disarray. Is that me?

My head tilted and my body slowly moved as I made my way to the mirror. My hands shaking ferociously I brought them up to my face and slowly caressed it. "This can't be me." I mumbled letting tears fall from my blood shot red eyes. "Ahayah come." Analaa whispered coming up behind me.

I did as told and fell into her arms letting sorrow and depression take over. My bottom lip quivered and tears erupted even harder. "We're gonna walk out and let you have some time to yourself. Go sit and pray we'll be right back." She whispered letting me go. Knowing if I was reluctant I wasnt gonna win I got down on my knees by the window and clasped my hands together closing my eyes.

Jamaica

I stood outside of room #8 while I waited on my signal to enter. Its been about 15 minutes now but I'll wait. Even if it takes forever. "Hello you must be Jamaica." Natalie the psychiatrist greeted me. I shook her hand and continued to stare into her beautiful eyes. "Ehem." I couldn't help but laugh cause I got caught up in a moment.

"Wussup La La." I greeted Analaa pulling her into a hug. "Mhhhhm." She mumbled pulling away. She pointed towards the door and dropped her head. I took that as my cue to walk into the room where Ahayah was on her knees in a praying position. 

Without making a noise I sat down on the couch and waited for her to finish. 2 minutes had went by and she arose taking a deep breath. "You know, I don't think you're crazy. I just think you're emotionally unstable at this point." I told her making her snap her head my way. "How dare you come in here and tell me that I'm emotionally unstable when your dumb ass is half the reason I'm like this! You hurt me Jamaica! Bad cause I felt like you were my scapegoat from all the pain and suffering I've endured!! I came to You thinking YOU'D help me! But only to see that you were the one hurting me too. Please leave!"