Anastasia Catts

Thinking Time

Anastasia's POV

Ever since I talked to my mom I've been thinking about him more. I wish it would stop. I need to be over him already. I mean this is just sad. Jay says the he doesn't deserve someone as unique as me. You're so much more than him. I smiled at the comment, my face red. But it hurt a little. I know, well believe it's just slightly true. But I can't stop.

He's the one who changed my life around. I was an anti social quiet little girl that didn't do anything at all and only kept to herself. Since then, I've changed much. I love him. There's just about two things keeping me form him. One, my shyness and total awkward feeling around him because of the whole Ashley and Katie and whatever thing. And two, it's just... all that's happened.

He's different then me. The opposite. No... But he loves to party and do wild things, I on the other hand would rather watch dumb videos online. I know they're for little kids but they fill in my boring life. The house has been empty since he's left though.

My screen brights up the dark room. I grab my phone next to me and hold it over my face.

Nerd: Anastasiaaa
Me: Nerddd
Nerd: Is that really my name? .-.
Me: Mhm
Nerd: All because i got a problem right and you got it wrong :p
Me: Shhh
Nerd: Well... I need to talk to you .-.
Me: Whuts up :3
Nerd: Other then the sky...

Me: EFKIGUJSFBE
Nerd: Eheheh...
Me: SO what's GOING ON
Nerd: My dad came back :/
Me: ...
Nerd: He wants to 'save' me frum my mom :/
Nerd: Im like thanks dad where tf were you years ago
Nerd: I want to kill him rn
Nerd: like actually wtf
Nerd: Where was that asshole when I needed him
Nerd: Like thanks dude i hate you, really
Nerd: I would hva eloved it if you came a long fkn time ago jesus
Nerd: Im sorry :/
Nerd: Had to ramble on :/
Me: So wuts going to happen >.<

I always feel awkward in situations like these. I don't really know what to say. I'm not the best comforting person. I feel extremely bad but I don't know what to do about.

BLAKE: My moms proabbaly going to easily give me up and Ill move as far away form her as possible with my dad :/
Me: WTF
BLAKE: i know

BLAKE: he has some nerve coming back
BLAKE: He wus all like wen he came into the hosue " whers your mom? We're going to get you out of here, okay? I'm sorry "
BLAKE: Aperantly he has a gf :/ i mean idc cause my mom is crap, but still.
BLAKE: and sorry? WTF liar. if he cared he wouldnt have left without me
Me: Blake stfu .-.
BLAKE: what? WTF
Me: He came back... he made mistakes, at least he's back, right?
BLAKE: You wouldnt under stand >0<
BLAKE: I needed to get away from her, and he left without me!
Me: Plus yur not even thankful for liekk all the people uv met i guess because of staying with her .-.
BLAKE: you dont understand. he left me with her.
Me: At least hes back to take you away
BLAKE: Do you even get it Anastasia!?!
Me: I get what you mean :/
BLAKE: good
Me: it will be okay Blake...
BLAKE: I wish :/

I stop. He needs to be alone or something. I shouldn't push it...

~

"Ana, if you really like him, just tell him! You guys never talked to each other, that what you need to do now," Jay exclaims.

"Can you please! Give me some more ideas," I groan tired of hearing the same thing I'm already telling myself. "I'm sorry, just a little stressed. I've been hearing weird things around the house, Blake is freaking out, and Rena and I barely talk anymore. To top it off I'm caring about something way more then I should."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Uhm... make a video of yourself saying the stuff... text him about it, tell someone else to tell him for you, write a note, draw a picture, I don't know!" He says frantically trying to cheer me up.

The words ponder in my brain. Video is too embarrassing.A text messgage is too weird. Tell him through someone else, something could go wrong. But writing a note and drawing a picture... That's perfect. My face shines with happiness.

I get up from the floor and hug Jay from where he's sitting on my bed, "THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!" I screech with joy.

~

Okay... harder then it looks. The lunch room is louder then usual. Blake stayed home to work things out and Rena is talking to Andre, like always. Annie decided to ditch school with Vincent, right on this day. Alone. Like before. Shouldn't I be alright?

Okay, paper. Nothing. Blue and red lines and blank space, holes too. That's all I've got. Wait no... I writ something on the page.

'Dear Dell,' Is that too formal? Should I just write hit? Or should I stay with dear? Write just his name maybe. Or I guess I could just start with the actual writing. Whatever. I'll worry about that later. Now for the writing.

'I like you...' That's just weird... I need to write this in better conditions. I don't want to write what he wants to hear, or what I want to see. i need to write what's real. No 'I miss you because you're the only person who makes me happy.' That's not true. I'm not going to write like that. Dammit. I just need some time to think.

~ It's Amazing The Amount Of Time I'll Be Sitting Here, Just Thinking About... You ~

EVERYONE PUT YOUR THINKINGGG CAPS ON >:3 *puts cap on [:3 dere.

Any suggestiong or guesses on ANYTHINGGG for example, blakes mum and dad, dels feels, rena relationship, wtf happened to liek Anna and cole and wuts up with katie and Ashley and all do shizzz, or why de mum and dad broke up in first place and shiz, or liek wutz gonna happen to evyone, and are they all gonna die?, and why Jay so depressed at home and shiz... I need yur comments. I feed on dem OM NOM NOM!!!

TH COMMENT EATER OUTTT