For the Twenty Fifth Time

In a small room on the seventeenth floor of an abandoned building, a man is tied to a chair and is being beaten senseless for reasons unknown. "I guess this is the way I'm going to have to do it!" says the angry man then follows it with a right hook to the chin "I guess this is the only way your going to learn David!" he adds then follows that with a "Karate Kid" crane-kick to the chest. David bleeds from his nose and against his best efforts he cannot seem to open his eyes. "Fuck you Charlie" He babbled as blood dribbles from his mouth. He managed to open one eye for a brief moment and saw a goon in a three-piece-suit throw a ham sandwich across the room like a Frisbee.

Obviously he didn't have all his wits about him. He looked towards the window where he believed the ham sandwich came to rest and became entranced by the barking of a dog. Charlie slapped him out of it and did the unexpected. He confessed his love for David's sister Katherine's Pet ferret, then he simply yanked on the rope that bound David's hand's to the chair and revealed that it was the Great Vuala's, "magic rope". Charlie with an arrogance about him says "This rope comes undone with hardly any effort at all". He then handed David a note and made him promise to deliver it to Katherine. David nodded his head but never promised, then he left. Thinking the note was his Christmas bonus David stuffed it in his back pocket and started whistling to the tune of the Oscar Mayer Weiner commercial. As he walked down the street, David, still a bit dazed from his beating sees a piece of equipment in the middle of the parking lot. He couldn't focus enough to fully make out what it was so he walked over to it, mounted it, and tried to jump on it like a pogo-stick. Three seconds later the building across the street exploded with a demolition crew still inside. Three days later the note was destroyed in his pants pocket while in the washing machine. Three months later, nothing happens but four days after that, David was caught smoking a cigarette in the backyard by his wife Sally. David had Sally convinced he quit smoking three months ago. Sally hated the fact that David always came home with a busted lip and two black eyes, she was also tired of all the lies so she shot him dead.

Across town a man is interrogating another man and is startled by the sound of a gun shot. "March 3rd, 4Pm, WHERE...WE'RE...YOU!?" He notices in the bar mirror that his back was turned to the man he was shouting at. He turned around to hear "I have no comments for you spit mouth!" The interrogated man, Stanley Luncheon, attempts to leave. The interrogator, Willy, becomes agitated and says, "You do as you are told you little turkey fuck-nut!" Stanley's face dropped. He picked it up and in a low raspy voice said "You devil hemorrhoid! You rubber mallet!" ..... ENOUGH WITH THE NAME CALLING! Yells a man dressed in a carrot costume. He was leaning up against the bar with a celery-stick sticking out of his drink. He looked like the carrot version of James Bond. When Willy caught a glimpse of the carrot man he suddenly remembered the black Lamborghini triple-parked outside in a thunderstorm and thought "I must be dreaming". Willy then decided to make a dash for the door labeled "to roof". He ran up three flights then saw a door labeled "roof". He kicked the door open with both feet and ended up on his back.

He rested there a bit to catch his breath and to avoid embarrassment. Four hours later Willy was still on his back but now his legs were drenched and charred due to the rain and massive lightning bolts that poured down on them. Although he was clearly dead, Willy appeared to be taking it all in stride. Turns out he wasn't dreaming. He was in fact interrogating a very rude suspect in a sting operation at a costume convention. Willy was in an improv class studying to be a stage actor and this was all part of an exorcise. The Lamborghini that was triple parked outside was towed. It was Willy's. No one knows exactly what it was that made Willy crack but a copy of the 80's hit movie "Flash Dance" was found stuffed in his gym bag with a leotard and one leg warmer. The bag was found in a secret compartment in the trunk of his car. This bit of information offered no insight to the mysterious occurrences at the theater that night but was interesting enough to make the news.