21: Rumors and Regrets

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And that's the curse of spoken words. You can't take them back. Once you let them escape your lips, they're no longer yours.

Perhaps those who hear your words will forget them, but I've realized one thing: People don't forget how you made them feel.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

I'd kissed Dylan- I'd kissed him so did that mean we were a couple again? Did I even want that?

I didn't know what I wanted. That seemed to be constant theme with me these days, but I didn't ask for all these- these complications to happen to me.

"Miss Convelo!" Slughorn's warbly voice rang loudly through the quiet dungeon classroom.

I jerked my head upward, blinking rapidly as my mind raced to figure out what I had missed.

"Yes, sir?" I responded, my stomach dropping as I became conscious of the stares of all the other students.

Slughorn coughed, then asked his question, obviously for a second time. "I would like you to remind the class of the first ingredient used to brew Amortentia."

I cursed under my breath, and the class held its breath in a terribly awkward silence. Remus must have taken pity on me, because I could just hear him whisper "Ashwinder egg."

"Ashwinder egg," I repeated, loud enough for Slughorn to hear.

Slughorn smiled warmly at me and clapped his hands. "Very good, very good Miss Convelo!"

He turned back to his practice table and gestured at the next ingredient. "Now, class, you will heat your cauldrons after adding horseradish, and then you will wait for approximately eight minutes until-"

Halfway through Slughorn's explanation, I felt a sharp jab in my back. A crumpled piece of parchment fell onto the floor next to me.

I knelt down inconspicuously to pick it it up. I twisted my head backwards to analyze the most likely culprits.

From his seat next to Sirius in the very back table, James smiled and waved at me sweetly, tilting his head as if he were posing for a picture.

I rolled my eyes and unfolded the note. In an untidy scrawl, the writing read:

You and Dylan- is it true?

I fought all my instincts to turn around and hurl the paper at James's cocky face, to wipe away the self-assured grin that I could picture perfectly in my mind's eye. Instead, I flipped the note over and scribbled: Yes.

When Slughorn wasn't looking, I charmed the paper to fly back to James. For good measure, I aimed it to hit right between the center of his forehead.

I heard a muffled shriek, then a crinkling of parchment.

James opened the note quickly, and his mouth widened in shock. He looked up at me as if to verify what I'd written, then nudged Sirius, pointing at the paper in his hands.

Sirius's eyes were on the paper for several seconds before he looked in my direction and frowned.

I turned back to Slughorn's demonstration with a smile. Finally, I thought. He decides to act like he cares.

I felt Remus glance sideways at my face, but I shook my head slightly to indicate that it wasn't worth discussing.

He looked away in submission and rose from the table to collect the ingredients for Amortentia.

Once he had ventured a few steps away, I began to follow the steps written out in our books. The pages were slightly wrinkled, and the instructions were blotted with liquid stains. I squinted at the blurred print beside Step One.

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