Lethal (Captain America)

•17

[Logan] December 16, 1943- Belgium

Some of us aren't born for fighting. But he'll do we have the thick urge pounding at our hearts every minute. The weakest bodies are given the strongest hearts. That's a rarity, a jewel. And that's what my Steve was to me.

I didn't care about all the glances, either filled with jealousy, lust or adoration. I didn't care about the fact that he had changed greatly physically. He was still the boy I fell in love with so many years ago. He still stubbornly stood on his ideals like no one else. That I realized when he pressed his chapped lips to my own.

I had him, but the situation had to tear us apart once more. He didn't promise a life together, that would be stupid and we both knew it. But he did promise we would come back to us . What we had always been: three.

But that winter night inside a station tent, the horrors I couldn't keep myself from having nightmares in, became a reality. My brother was dead. I didn't cry, or weep, or scream. I stood with red staining the letter, I couldn't think. All I could think, all that was rolling in my head was his name and his face. Ten minutes, did it take for the news to finally settle.

I never felt so much pain. Sargent James Buchanan Barnes, deceased. Could the world be just a little more cruel and have this war wage another hundred years?

The future was impossible to reach, I had my job as a field nurse, seen many deaths and eyes imploring me to tell their loved ones their last declarations of love. Seen many clinging on, just to summarize their sins like the summary one would find in the back of a book.

The damn library, I wish I had never walked in there. Wished I was still the orphan. Wish I never walked into my brother's eyes. This is what came along when you loved someone? A test, a death and some hopeless letters?

I stood, wiped my face and kept marching on. Bucky, I'll see you when the time comes.

•

Dear Lo,

I've been dying a little each day since the time I couldn't save my brother. He fell, I'm telling you, he fell. All his bravery, all his honor fell with him. Haven't drank so much in my whole life. Peggy keeps good company and lifts my chin every now and then. You two would really have gotten along. I'm departing for the Alps tomorrow night. May the Lord be with me and takes care of you. We both we'll see him again, but for now let's keep our heads in the right place. Once this whole war is over, who knows, we'll do our own ceremony for our brother. So many bodies I've buried, so much. I know you have seen a lot of that too. My lamp's dying out. I love you.

                                          Steve