decoding the boys ✔️

29 - effort || uncut ver

Sighing, I looked out the window and checked kung nasa'n na kami. Sobrang lapit na pala. Any minute now . . .

"Just drop me here," I said in a hoarse voice. Ayoko sanang iwan siya nang ganito but I was too afraid to say anything else, afraid to do more damage. "Malapit na yung sa 'min dito."

Technically, three streets away pa before yung gate namin. But mahirap na. Baka makita pa kami.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Racel nodded quietly and swerved the car to the side of the road. Then he stopped the car abruptly. Poporma na sana siyang lumabas but I stopped him.

Parang napapaso, he stiffened at my touch kaya I retracted my hand right away. Shiz.

"Don't go out na. I'll be fine," I told him, and then seeing his wistful expression, I couldn't help but add in a softer, more genuine tone, "And thank you so much for tonight. Nag-enjoy talaga ako. Sobra."

Racel seemed hesitant but nodded anyway, staring at me as if he was trying to gauge my thoughts. May hinahagilap siya sa mga mata ko. So before he could read me pa, nginitian ko siya nang mabilis at atubiling lumabas sa BMW niya.

Yes. I chickened out. Nakakahiya mang aminin but I panicked and bolted out on him.

Magulong- magulo ang isip ko. Mas magulo ang nararamdaman ko. I just wanted to get out of that car and take a breather. Clear my head. Move away from his sinful distractions.

Baka sakali makapag-isip ako nang matino.

Naglakad ako papunta sa gate ng mansion without looking back to him. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko. Hindi pa rin na-sa-subside ang kaba ko. Daaamn. My lips were tingling.

Even now, I could still feel his kiss.

***

Fireworks.

'Yan ang naramdaman ko kanina at patuloy kong nararamdaman sa tuwing sumasagi sa isip ko yung nangyari.

What the hell. I kept reminding him that we were just friends. Ha! Friends pala ha? When I was the one who couldn't move on? These demons in my stomach kept on fluttering.

With quick breaths, I went inside the house. Nakapatay na ang mga ilaw; sa living room na lang ang nakabukas. Everyone was probably asleep na.

As quietly as I could, I removed my shoes and placed them in the shoe rack. Then I ambled toward the staircase.

Aakyat na sana ako when a voice startled me.

"Ba't ngayon ka lang?"

I stopped short at the question. I whipped to the right to find Kuya Chris coming out of the kitchen, a bottle of beer in hand. I was grateful na hindi si Kuya Jacob 'yon. I wasn't ready to face him yet.

"Pumasyal," I answered.

He raised a brow. "You're lucky wala sila ngayon. Kung hindi, yari ka," sabi niya habang naglalakad papunta sa living room.

I followed him there.

"'Di pa sila umuuwi?"

"Sa condo umuwi si Andrei. Jacob crashed in there, too. Mom, Dad, and Kuya went to Ilocos. 'Di ka ba nagbabasa ng group chat?"

"Sorry, 'di pa 'ko nagbabasa ng messages."

Kuya Chris only nodded and said nothing to that.

That was my cue to excuse myself and go up. Sana. Dapat. But something nagged at me kaya nag-stay pa muna ako. Kuya was drinking alone. He's not the type to do that.