Deranged

Chapter XIII: Trust Issues

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This chapter was written by Hana.

"What do you mean you know what happened to him?"
          Hana's demanding voice was quite a shock in the quiet car ride back from the restaurant. She had enough of his vague words and needed more explanation behind what he was doing. He was the hardest to understand from the multitude of people she knew, therefore making it difficult for Hana to know how to deal with all the knowledge he came with. hmm i'll look at it. maybe see if i can fix it yeah okay that's good keep reading
          It took Max a few minutes to obviously come up with a good answer. He gripped the wheel tighter than before, and opened his mouth a few times to say something, but nothing escaped his lips.
          "I'll have to make sure my theory is solid before we can depend on it to make plans" was all he said.
          No one spoke much as they were dropped off at the Ritz.  Maheen and Mason left the car with a silent "bye", and Isra gave Max a skeptical look as she slipped out behind the others into the hotel. Samrah told them she wanted to spend a night with the others, so she went inside, as well.    
In front of the Institute, Max was about to protest as Hana unlocked her door and got out before he stopped the car. She rang the doorbell and pulled her jacket closer to her body, trying her best not to look at Maximus. He was acting too suspicious, and was not doing anything to assure them that he knew what he was doing! Hana had no reason to trust him, even though he claimed that he wanted her to come back into Shadowhunter society.
The sound of the engine turning off and a slam of a door provoked her to push the button again. The institute door did not open. She heard the crunch of snow under feet approaching, and she bit the inside of her cheek as she rang the doorbell twice. She assumed her frustration was clear, as Max forced her to turn towards him by pulling her shoulder back.
And right when she turned and met his eyes, she exploded. "What, Maximus? Are you going to tell me not to worry, and that everything is under control? Or are you going to just blabber on on some more fluff that makes no sense and make us think you know things that shouldn't be known?" she jabbed a finger into his chest, her eyes seething, "Because right now, I'm looking at you and I have this feeling that I shouldn't trust you."
Every word seemed to hit him like a dagger to the chest. For a while, he stared silently at her. Then taking a deep breath, he replied. "I know I'm not giving off a very reliable demeanor, but you have to have faith in me. Everything I'm doing is for my-" he quickly corrected himself, "-our people."
Hana was furious!
Narrowing her eyes at him, she said in a low voice, "How can I have faith in you? You suddenly barge in my life and expect me to rely on you for a lot of things, but I don't know you. I don't know your capabilities, nor your loyalties; for all I know, that letter you showed me could be fake."
Suddenly, the door opened with Andrew on the other side. He inspected their fierce exchange of looks, and chuckled a bit. "Aw, are the two little birds having a fight?" he cooed. Hana pushed past him into the Institute, ignoring Max's set jaw and Andrew's snickers.
Hana felt ridiculous. How was she stupid enough to believe that she could try to get her old life back? Why did she even want it? Why did she let Max charm her into thinking that?
She barely looked up as she took quick steps towards the two large staircase in the main entrance of the Institute. The carpet was black, but all she could see was red.
I'll pack and get out of this hellhole.
When she threw open the door of the room she had slept in, Rami's head jerked up with startled eyes. He was crouched on the floor, arms under the desk. The swung door hit the wall, producing a big bang.
He looked at her with wide eyes and rushed to explain, "I was just looking for my DS - I left it when I was in here," he said quickly, standing up and looking down,  hands behind his back.
Hana barely paid any attention to his excuse; she just turned to the only other pair of clothes she had with her and folded them. The Shadowhunter stuffed the clothing into her gym bag furiously, almost punching them.
"What's wrong?"
Hana turned around, and only then did she completely realize Rami was in the room. She took a deep breath, looked at the gym bag, and back at Rami. Her body went limp, and she fell down onto the bed, covering her face with her hands.
"I don't know, Rami," she murmured, sighing.
The boy lied down next to her. "Sometimes I don't know what's wrong, either." he sighed and continued, "It just comes up like a whole bunch of weird feelings and I become overwhelmed. But then I remember that it's just because I have all this secret stuff in my chest, and I don't have anyone to share it with."
Hana's chest clenched like a fist. Rami suffered some similar fate like her, excluding the murder and banning. He was considered too much of a thinker, something Shadowhunter men were not meant to be. His parents were ashamed of their son's behavior. Blinded by their pride, they dropped him off at the Chicago Institute, at the early age of seven, and claimed that they just wanted him to train somewhere far. To become more mature without his Mum and Dad.

They were mistaken. Rami was more mature than any of them.
They were mistaken. Hana was more innocent than any of them.
"I can't stay, Rami." Hana turned her head to see his face. He did the same, but his eyes were like freshly broken glass.
"What do you mean?"
She sighed and sat up, rubbing her temple. "I'm not supposed to be here, in the first place. I shouldn't be near you, or the others. It'll just look bad on not just me, but you, as well. What would you think if you heard that your son was hanging out with a murderer?" Hana laughed half-heartedly. 
"But, you're not a murderer."
She bit her lip, swallowing rising emotions. Hana stood up and tried to reason with him.
"No, I'm not. But that's my nickname, I suppose, and people don't like others with that nickname. You don't need all that hate nearby." She picked her bag up, but Rami's hand picked it up, as well.
"Don't leave!" He almost screamed, his words desperate. "Don't leave, Hana. You've gotten this far; you can make it; you can still be a part of the Nephilim. Please stay."
When Hana did not reply and looked unconvinced, he added, "Please."
She almost heard his lips say, For me.
Her grip on the bag loosened, and Rami set it down on the bed. He smiled faintly, understanding the look of defeat on Hana's face.