Teach me How to Love

"There's no turning back"

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Kira's POV

"Kira, hindi pa ba tayo aalis?" 

"No. I will never leave no matter what." simple kong sagot

"But its cold out here, it is better if you get inside the car na. Besides, makakasama iyan sa iyo at sa--"

I cut him off "Okay but, please even just 2 minutes. I want to spend my remaining time to her."

"Okay, I will just wait you in my car" nagsimula na siyang maglakad paalis. at ng makalayo na siya ay saka naman pumatak ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabadya. I look up the sky as my tears starting to fall. 

Masakit pala ang magmahal, Hindi ko akalain na ganito kasakit. Tama nga sila, relationSHITS!. Sa una lang masaya.

Kapag pala ikaw lang ang lubos na nagmahal sa inyong dalawa, ikaw rin pala ang masasaktan ng todo-todo. Life is so unfair! I don't even deserve this pain. I  am good daughter of my parents, I am indeed a  kind friend to my friends yet, I fell this pain.

I look on her grave, She died because of me. She died because I didn't listen to her, I didn't obey her. She's right, Dapat nung una palang sinunod ko na siya. Dapat hindi ako nagpadala sa bugso ng damdamin ko.

I hold my tummy and massage it. Soon I will be a mother. Soon I will have a baby boy na. Soon I will have a child that will give me a inspiration para gustuhin ko pang mabuhay. 

"Don't worry, I will take care of him" natawa naman ako. As if naman sasagot ang patay.

'6:30 P.M' I think this is the time for me to say goodbye na. I need to fix myself dahil soon I will become a mother na. I will do this for my son and for myself. Dahil simula ngayon, wala na akong ibang prioty kundi ang magiging anak ko at ang sarili ko. 

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the happy and sad memories, I promised that I will left that memories here in the Philippines and make a new memory in New York.

I smiled when I remembered how we met, He's my boss before and that was the first time when I encountered one person who was desperate to learn on how to love and that was our story begins and it ends like this. 

It started, on a 3 months deal. A deal that I didn't expect na magdudulot pala ng ganitong sakit sa akin. But I'm still thankful to him. Dahil sa kaniya, Magkakaroon na ako ng baby boy and sorry to say this, but I will not let them know about my son. No way!

I think there's no turning back. I need to go. Until we meet again. And when that time comes, I will make sure that you will see a new Kira. A tough, selfish and loving mother one.

The question is "How could be a simple deal make me like this? A devastated me. How come?"