To Fire A Gunn 2

Chapter 4

Violet bursts through the door nearly scaring me from my comfy spot by the window. Her face is red and blotchy, and I would have thought she ran here if I couldn't see her car lights shining in through the curtains. Her car is still running and the driver's side door is wide open. She rushes over to where I am sitting and I immediately know something is terribly wrong. For the first time in what feels like years, but I know has only been maybe a month I am anxious about the knowledge I'm about to receive.

"Where's the remote!!!!?" she yells, her trembling hands reaching up to grab my shoulders as if she thinks I'm in a state of shock.

Maybe I am, because just as her hands touch me I "hear" 'oh god he's really dead oh god'. It takes me a moment to realize how I heard this, but then I remember I can hear thoughts, and Violet's are screaming at me about Wilder's death.

"it's.." I trail of pointing to the remote sitting on the table a few feet from me.

When the T.V. clicks on, I turn my head to see the same lady from a couple weeks ago talking about a dead body and before I even have time to wonder who died, Wilder's face flashes across the screen. He's smiling and the familiar spark in his eye captures my heart as I hear the news lady say that they found his body.

I feel like the world just sat on my chest, like all 7 billion people on this earth are making homes out of my veins, like all 7 billion of them are burying their loved ones in my bones. Tears blur my vision as a random girl from school blabs on about how close they were and how devastated she is about his death. My day goes silent and all I see is Violet covering her ears, running up the stairs. After about a minute or so my mom jumps into my vision reaching out and grabbing my face. I can't hear what she's saying, but I feel the fear radiating from her caramel skin.

Violet disappears out of my view before shortly returning with her phone. My day has been set on mute, but I eventually realize I can read my mom's, who is gripping my face in horror, lips. She's mouthing 'stop screaming Joy'. My day goes black.

*******

When I wake up Dr. Kare is sitting in the chair next to my bed reading a book. Her legs are crossed and she looks timid and uncomfortable. She looks up and we lock eyes.

"Well hello there sleepy head." She says casually. Her conversational tone puts me on edge. She's smiling at me with that same condescending-but not really smile that always seems to soothe my nerves.

"Hey." Is all I manage to say as I sit up. I instantly regret doing so because memories of the news and Wilder's body being toted in a black body bag rush back to me.

"Joy, I'm sorry for your loss." She says as she takes in my movements.

"How did this happen?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"Joy, none of this is your fault. You aren't responsible for this..." she searches for the correct word, "...tragedy" she finishes.

"So who's fault is it then?" I ask, wondering why she's defending my actions. This is all of my fault. " I should have listened to you."

"Joy, you didn't know someone would harm him."

"Someone!? I DID THAT." I snap at her. "I KILLED HIM. HE CAME OVER AND I GOT TEMPTED, AND I GAVE IN . I KILLED HIM."

"Joy, there's something you need to kn-" she begins but I cut her off.

"Get out, Dr. Kare."

She looks shocked by my demand, but she stands straightens out her dress, walks out leaving me alone upon my request.