Chapter 4: Lost and Gone

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It's amazing how someone can get attached to something so quickly.

Simon apologized to Gotham multiple times, but it seemed as if she never heard a word he said. She had gotten lost in her own mind again, trying to control herself from crying.

She did this whenever she was feeling sad. She could never cry in front of people, for fear that they might judge her further. She didn't want to be put farther down the list.

Sometimes it got out of hand, and she was out of it for days. Her body still followed her routine though, coming home when it got a certain time, eating a meal, going to bed, then waking up and going to the park, repeat, as if her parents were still with her. But when she woke up, she was still in her mind, lost.

"Gotham?" Simon, it seemed, was getting worried. He shook her, prodded her, tickled her, but she didn't move a muscle and she didn't respond. "Gotham you're scaring me."

But Gotham couldn't reply to him. She couldn't find her way out of her mind. It was like a maze, and no matter which way she went, she always ended up at a dead end. The farther in she went, the more lost she became, and it was only a matter of time before she was gone forever.

But time passes quicker outside of your mind than in, and it would take days, maybe months, for her to be gone into her mind forever. It would seem like only days had passed inside your mind when really it had been months, or even years. Time was strange, but Gotham dealt with this too often to be extremely fazed by it.

Simon spent the rest of the day trying to get Gotham's attention. He never tried to hurt her, but was gentle with her. When his father came to get him, he looked at Gotham with the eyes of them, but Simon didn't notice. He reluctantly left her side to follow his father home.

When the time came, Gotham's body made its way home. It did not see, but it knew the way. Somehow, her body still functioned while she was stuck inside her mind.

A few days passed--three, to be exact--and during those days Simon would meet her at her tree, try to get her back, and fail, and get taken away by his father. By the third day he was anxious, and made a fit to stay with her. But his father would hear none of it, because he was one of them.

Simon's dad looked at her with the same hatred, and judgement filled eyes as them, and it was only a matter of time before Simon became like him. Hateful, judgemental, and discriminating, and most importantly, he would want to stay away from her.

This thought is what brought Gotham out of her stupor on the morning of what would have been the fourth day.

****

It's amazing how once we're attached to something it's so much harder to let go of it.

Gotham rushed to her tree. She forgot to take her nuts and berries with her, but she had more important things on her mind than eating. She had to apologize to Simon. She didn't want him to think she was too weird, because she didn't want to lose her only friend, not now, not ever. She didn't like that she had gotten attached to him, but she also liked it at the same time. It felt nice to have a friend.

She ran and ran, running over rocks and sticks, to get to her tree as fast as she could. But when she got there, Simon was nowhere to be seen.

She wasn't that much early. In fact, there were many people there already, with their kids. Gotham didn't know when Simon and his dad usually got to the park, but she knew it was before she usually arrived.

And so she waited. And waited, and waited. But Simon never arrived. Nor did his father, in fact, and Gotham began to lose hope. Once it got to noon, Gotham knew that Simon wasn't coming. If he was, he'd have been there already.

Feeling disappointed in herself and sad that she let him go, she ran back to her house. She could feel the tears coming, and she had to get home before she shut down again. She ran as fast as her little legs could take her, and as soon and she got inside she slammed the door behind her and fell to the ground.

She had her back against the door when the tears started to rush down her cheeks. Her sobs were mournful, full of pain and agony and bursting with sadness. They were loud and she wailed, her insides dying slowly with the pain.

What if she never saw him again? Had she really lost Simon? He was only 9, he didn't know any better. She shouldn't have been so stupid, she shouldn't have gotten so lost in her mind, she shouldn't have just left him like that, wondering what was going on, how he had hurt her, what he had done, when she would come out of it.

She should have listened to him and answered him as patiently as she could. He was only asking a question. She knew that he spoke before he could think about his words. She was so disappointed in herself. Why was she so touchy about that? Why couldn't she just--for Simon's sake--get over it? They were gone, and gone was gone, and they were never coming back to her.

She just couldn't seem to get that through her head. She had been through a lot, and she had just got a friend. Why did she have to mess up so quickly?

She cried herself to sleep, and in the morning she woke up with tears still streaming down her face.

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