Chapter 38//Help me please!

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Your just imagining things Cat.

I turn on my heel wanting to just get out of there before he questioned me or said I was fired for what I was doing.Before I could make it 4 steps his cold voice pierced through the room.

"Don't ever return."I pause in my steps and look at him with confusion Written all over my face."Uh what?"I ask cocking my head to the side.

"You heard me I'm done with you and your pathetic problems."My face frowns slightly and I bite my lip.

Please don't do this to me not today...

"If I wanted a little whinny brat I would have picked up a 2 year old So get out of my sight now."At that point he's full on smiling and tears sting my vision He puts his arm around the girl next to him and she welcomes it completely.

Remember how I said I couldn't feel anything?This was my wake up call to reality a wave of emotions splattered over me too many.

I swallow the lump in my throat and straighten my body out pretending not to feel The pain,Betrayal,The emptiness Most of all the heartbreak.

"Your just like everyone else you Fucker you pretend to care but don't..."I add in a quite voice "I should have known."

He didn't look affected by my words and only pointed towards the door making it clear that he was done with me.

I was a pawn.He used me and I feel right into it.Stupid silly me No one cares.

I turn around Willingly leaving Quitley even though I wanted to punch him so bad for the things he just said to me.

That was before he added the last but to the sentence "Who needs an Emo freak anyways?"I clench my teeth and turn around.

You know what what's the fun in leaving Quitley if your going to leave your going to leave with a spark.

I walk over to him slowly and he scowls at me noticing that I'm not leaving I stop in front of him and reach out my hand to touch his face I let my hands Glide acrossed his skin touching his jawline and all the way up to his silky brown hair.

Losing all my gentleness in my touch I suddenly yank him down his face going down by the sudden yank and I lift up my knee smashing it into his face.

Emo freak?Haha-If he says that again guess where he's heading.

He let's out a groan of pain While he was still leaning down slightly I slap him really hard acrossed the face his head turning to the right side.

That was for Whinny little brat.

And with a final Touch I Kick his right in the spot no man wants to be kicked right in the manhood.He hissed through his teeth falling to the ground .

And that was for me telling you everything and him tossing me to the side Like everyone else.

The girl next to him looks horrified at me and I look at her smiling sweetly "Be careful he Will find someone 'better' then toss you away." I warn her truthfully.I look at Eisuke Who's still on the ground and turn to take my leave.

"It yeah guess I won't need this anymore.."I fish the Keycard out of my pocket and Threw it over my shoulder letting the small plastic card clatter to the ground.

I storm out of the hotel But once out of sight of both of them I collapsed against the wall skidding down to my feet.

Did I overreact?

Yeah probably...

I bring my knees up to my chest still out in public just by the side of the hotel and completely start to break down.I was done,Just done I'm in so much pain right now it's almost as if My sister is dying again right in front of me this time I was struck twice and it hurt,So fucking bad.

Why me?Why all of this in one day I was never strong to began with and this just keeps pilling up.

My own mother dying in front if me and now this?What did I do to deserve this?!

I was hurt,hurt more than I ever thought possible,I'm Practically losing every part of me that I was barley grasping onto Even Eisuke hates me and I know why I was a bitch I knew this would happen It's my fault though.

Then there was the voices again the voices I blocked out for as long as possible but couldn't anymore.

The voices telling me I'm alone and that I'm the reason why they did what they did.

I'm deadly...

I'm scared of myself.

I'm now alone in this world.

I get up from my position and run Ti the dorms crashing open the doors and ran straight to my room.The urge was welling up inside of me I was done.

Done with everything.

Exhausted,tired,hurt,In pain.

I want it to end.

I want to give up to sink to a bottomless abyss.

No I wanted To get my mind off if this and I knew just the way to do it.

I walk into the bathroom and look at the razor that's lying right on the sink.It was inviting in fact it seemed almost comforting.

I couldn't stop myself this time Like I had before no one was there,this is what it fed to be alone when you can't call out to anybody.

I wanted to cry for help I wanted to scream I wanted to put the razor down but instead I ignored the voices telling me 'no'.

Without a second though I brought up the cool metal to my arms and Closed my eyes.I deserve this...

Don't I?

I drove everyone away,I lost 2 people today,I lost a person a long time ago.

My fault.

So I wasn't strong anymore.I Never was...

I pressed the razor hard against my arm feeling it cut through my skin and tearing it open to a tiny slit.I didn't stop there though I ignore the intense pain and pushed it in deeper wanting too just feel Anything other than Alone,Or worthless I'm sick of being The one who is always hurt It's tiring .

The crimson red blood started to leak down my arm splattering against the white sink leaving tiny droplets of blood splattered messily.I swallow hard Wanting to just die It's been a hard day a hard year in-fact But this day has been different then any other day I usually have One because I lost yet another person to the cold blanket's of death and two I drove someone else away Someone I developed felling for.

That's when it struck me like a bullet.

I broke a rule I so desperately tried my hardest to never ever break.

I mindlessly grab a roll of toilet paper a take of a strip pressing it against my bleeding arm A few tear's welling up in my head as i glanced down at the two simple rings lying on my finger the one ring was the one my sister gave me as a hand-me-down and the other Was the one Eisuke bought me.

I wasn't crying because of the piercing pain throbbing in my arm because that didn't hurt not compared to every feeling screaming from inside of me wanting to be let out.

"I feel in love with Eisuke Ichinomiya..."

I whisper the truth disgusted at myself for ever getting so attached to a guy who clearly doesn't give a shit about me.I didn't believe in love I still sorta don't but I'm no idiot this isn't 'Puppy love' and i wont be in denial I absolutely positively Feel in love with Eisuke.

Problem is.

It's to late.... 

Another problem is who could love a girl who cut's?

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Hey guys sorry for this chapter It was depressing The story is close to being over now About 5 more chapters and it should be done.


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