One More Chance - H2OVanoss Short Story

Chapter 7

[I told you chapters were short. xD I lost an actual good idea for this chapter to make it longer. But the next two chapters are really short, so I'll most likely post those two on the same day]

18 years old

Jonathan's POV

" Maybe these feelings will disappear if I leave and come back. "

Just a regular day, nothing out of the ordinary. Expect one thing. 

Our first fight. 

Everything was completely fine until it just.. happened. It only happened because of me opening my mouth when Evan and I were at my house. Worst part about it was, my parents were home and I know for a fact they heard us arguing in my room. We never fight, we were always on the same page - everyone knew that, including us two. The fight wasn't necessarily anything bad, but I didn't intend for it to happen. All I wanted to do was talk.

I blame myself fully for it happening. All I did was ask for something to happen, and then at graduation everything would go back to normally. As if nothing ever did actually happen. What I wanted was a break from us for a few months, until we graduated from high school. 

For the past few weeks, I've been feeling really insignificant and not good enough for anyone. I don't feel good enough for him.  How could you really blame me for having those feelings though? A majority of people have felt like this and are feeling like this, without even intending to. Things just happen at random moments, it's unexpected. 

I guess when I said I wanted a break, he took that in the wrong way and thought I was breaking up with him, when I tried explaining myself, saying, "I just want a break from us for a while, when graduation hits in a few months, everything will go back to normal. I promise." I made sure to tell him that I still love him too death, a little more than I did yesterday, but it took a unexpected turn.

He started assuming I was crushing on someone else, like, "Why else would you want to take a break from me?" Him accusing me of that, actually made me mad. I hid this somewhat of a rage for a few until he kept assuming things that didn't make sense. I don't know what was suddenly filling up his mind but he actually thought I was taking a break from him to go fuck someone else, cute really. 

He wasn't just assuming that though, it was a bunch of other nonsense. When all I want, is to take a break from everything so these feelings will go away. Because if they stay... I might end up leaving in the future.

And I don't want that.

-

Us fighting, lasted for about an hour or so. Until I blurted out, "Will you just shut up, Evan?! Everything that you just assumed, is actually what I'm not doing. I'm not doing any of the sort. I just want a break for a while because I feel.. insignificant. I feel not good enough for you, I feel like you deserve so much better than me. I feel like, maybe if I leave and come back... all these feelings will disappear."

I was shocked, I thought I'd never actually speak my feelings out like that. I was hiding it because I was scared of what he may think. But I guess I wasn't the only one who was shocked, because Evan was as well. He looked at me, I could tell that he was struggling to find the right words to say, but I couldn't read his expression.

Until he suddenly smiled at me. 

He told me I was one of the most important things to him - that I was great enough - that all he wanted was me. He didn't want a little break, he wanted to keep going. He told me that these feelings of mine would wash away in no time now that I have some reassurance. Instead of arguing with him for another hour, I gave this another chance and just sucked it up, saying, "Okay." 

But even though he reassured me, I still don't feel good enough.