Shoot The Jerk

Chapter 15: The Amazing Girl Who Puked On Kayla.

 “You know I’m just agreeing so that you’ll shut up, don’t you?”

 “Yup.” I said, gleefully. Being persistent has its perks.

 “So now, you should probably go for your date.”

 Fifteen minutes later, I was at Starbucks. Since it was just a casual date, I was wearing shorts and a simple T-shirt with ‘HI’ written on it. Martha wanted me to wear the one that said, “You're Lucky I'm Here”, but I would just feel awkward wearing that in front of Eric. I spotted Eric at a table and joined him.

 We ordered. I was so flustered in front of him that I didn’t even remember what I’d ordered. Then we were sipping coffee, with him trying to make small talk and me giving one-word answers when I could shift some of my attention away from his perfect face.

 Then came the part.

 The part when we both stood up.

 The part where he kissed me. And I kissed him back.

 I couldn’t believe this was finally happening. He pushed his tongue inside my mouth and that’s when I realised that something was horribly, horribly not right.

 I broke the kiss and looked up at him strangely. He looked back, confused.

 “You know, Eric? My toothbrush is probably more excited every time I brush than you were when we kissed. So, want to tell me why we’re on a date?”

 I may not be freakishly intelligent, but I had a fairly good gay radar. There was more attraction even when Matt and I kissed. And that’s saying a lot.

 Eric gulped. I felt no pity for him. I was going to go all Heartless Bitch mode on him. Nobody asks me out when he already knows he’s gay. Not even the person I have—had—a crush on.

 I was going to get at the bottom of this.

 “It was Jake.” He whispered.

 Oh boy.

 “I’m going to need more coffee. The strong kind.” I said.

 Another five minutes later, I was annoyed as hell. Darn Jake! This guy takes revenge too far. Thank god Eric was gay or I’d have been seriously hurt. Thank god I only had a non-obsessive crush on Eric. Thank god I didn’t have low self esteem, because this guy was seriously challenging it. I felt terrible for all those girls who have pictures of Eric in their lockers.

 “So, Kincaid basically told you to sleep with me and then cheat on me? And you listened.”

 “Err…sort of.” He said hesitantly.

 “Why did you do it?”

 “Please, Kayla, don’t tell anybody I’m gay. My mother will—”

 “Kill you. I know.” Same old, same old.

 “No. She’ll get a heart attack.”

 So, she’ll kill herself?

 “Same difference. Look, I’m not going to tell anyone anything. I don’t work that way. So, why were you working for Kincaid?”

Somehow, it sounded better when I phrased it like that, instead of saying something clingy and pathetic like—why did you do this to me? What have I ever done to you? Etcetera, etcetera.

 “I love him.” He said simply.

 “Wh-what?”

 “I love Jake. Always have.”

 I wanted to tear out my hair in frustration. God knows how I managed not to.

 “Ohmygod! You two are a couple. Damn, crap! Shit. Sorry, I’ll take some time to get used to this.”

 He looked at me weirdly. I calmed down after a while and asked,

 “What else do you know?”

  “All I know is that he wants revenge. And I don’t think Jake is unfair.”

 “In other words, I deserve this shit.” He didn’t say anything, which was wise of him.

 “I want you to go on playing your part like nothing happened. Act all lovey-dovey. I don’t want him to know that I know. I’ll even tolerate an occasional kiss if I have to. I want you to do the cheating bit next week, at Nick’s party. Everybody’s invited. Everybody will come.”

 “Why would I do that?”

 “Because I know your secret. Plus you don’t want Jake to think that you got cold feet and quit, do you? I bet he’ll be really pissed off.”

 He paled.

 Really, Jake and Eric? Gay couple? Ngh.

“Oh, sorry. Stupid question.” He said, probably assuming that I would tell the whole world that he was gay if he didn’t listen to me. I let him think that.

 “I won’t tell anybody.” He continued.

 “Good. So, you and Jake had sex yet?” I asked him casually. This was so weird.

 “Huh? Why do you need to know that?” He said, flustered.

 “I don’t. Jeez, I was just trying to make small talk.”

 “Oh, now you try a conversation. The past hour and half you’ve either been giving me single syllable answers or been drilling me with questions.” He said with an uncertain grin.

 How could I have ever crushed on this guy? He was a spineless snake. He was double crossing Jake. I decided to play along, even if it killed me to talk to him.

 “Yeah, well. I was distracted, you know. I had a crush on you for the longest time!” I said excitedly.

This was untrue. I had a crush on him since just one and a half month. But who cares. I could already see him warming up to the veiled compliment, even if it would have better if I were a guy, since he was gay.

Whatever.

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This chapter....meh. I just don't know, I don't think I like it. Yes yes that's right, comment people! Go on! Keep it up!

RandomFactAboutMe #15: I think I confused myself writing this one :P