Unanswered Letters | Ling Ling Kwong

( ?Letter -1- ( Do Smiles Truly Inhabit the Earth

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Dear Lilium ...

This is my very first letter to you, and I think it is just the beginning. But I really want to open my heart and share my deepest thoughts with you.
Maybe you will be surprised by the courage of someone who lives in a place outside the map—a soul carrying the heavy weight of a 15-year war. This war forced me into a deep isolation, even from myself. But I could no longer control the beautiful chaos that happened in my heart ever since I saw your Instagram profile.

I cannot forget what happened to my soul. I was deeply shocked. A deep crack formed inside me—something that even the most powerful missile that bombed my home could not do, but your picture did. Even while shaking during the horrors of the great Aleppo earthquake, I was stronger and more put together than I was in that moment.

I was scrolling through my phone, losing all desire to interact with life, until your angelic face appeared. I couldn't bear the sudden warmth and power of that moment. I threw my phone away. I began walking around my room, blinded by your light. I picked up my phone again, and this happened over and over. I never learned how to handle shock during the war, so I ask myself: is this why I am still just a background character in life until this day?
I used to look at your perfect world with fear and curiosity. How can a human being, living on the same planet as me, have such a graceful presence on social media and look happy all the time? How is it possible for them never to feel sad?

I admit, I saw some sad moments in your world. But how is it that even sadness and pain in your world look so peaceful, gentle, and beautiful? How do you have the power to stay beautiful despite the cruelty of life?
This spiritual shock made me feel that the time I lived through that long war was a life with no taste and no color! This shock made me run like crazy to talk to an old friend. We used to study architecture together at the University of Aleppo, before destiny took her to live in Chiang Mai, Thailand, where she made a warm and dreamy small family.

I will never forget what she told me when I asked her about the smiles and inner peace on Thai faces on social media. Is it real? Is it true that there are places on Earth where smiles live everywhere? Or is it just a fake mask they wear to hide their hardships and pain in an elegant way?
My friend laughed with surprise—a laugh that hid many blurry memories—and told me that gentleness in Thailand is a sacred culture. She explained that those smiles are not masks; they are a lifestyle and a philosophy they practice with simplicity to defeat life's hardships and darkness.

She continued laughing: "I have spent nearly seven years in Chiang Mai, and until this day, I still ask myself every day about those secrets hidden inside the souls of the Thai people, secrets they pass down through generations. Truly, what makes them this happy?"
I ended our warm phone call carrying a big dose of hope in my heart. This is a habit I have practiced since the war started in my city until today... Maybe I will tell you more about this ritual later.

Before I go back to my isolation and get lost in the busy days... can you tell me more about your life? Is it truly beautiful and real, or are there a thousand hidden stories of loneliness and disappointment behind those smiles?
I wish you knew how much I want to hear the truth, O holder of the radiant smile.
Forgive me for writing a long letter... but this is only the beginning.

Faithfully in her imagination,

Murhaf