Jenna-my lost twin

Somewhere

-Marie's POV-
"Mum's twin ruined so much. She ruined my family and you can barely ruin it more. I wish my older sister was still alive...why did Reesa have to die so young? She was only 18,way too young for dying."
I sat on my bed and counted the scars the accident left. I still saw all 18 scars. One was in my eyebrow and no one would notice it and another one was on my forehead but always covered with my red hair. Reesa always called me "her little fire angel" because of it. I had a few freckles as I was little but now I have none or you couldn't see them anymore.
I took a step to the mirror and looked at the scars on my arms which were caused by the cracking window of Reesa's car.
All I saw is my skinny self holding her arms to the mirror and her black carpet with a white desk behind me.
"Reesa would be so damn angry if she knew how much I bottle my thoughts up."
The next sound filling the air of my room was a crashing sound because I let myself fall on my black and fluffy carpet and hid my face in it.
"Sweetie,are you okay?" I heard my mother asking.
"Yes,mummy,I am fine." I tried to call it through my room but ended up mumbling it in my carpet and my mother came in.
"Oh sweetie...what happend?" she asked and kneeled down next to me and caressed my back.
"Nothing." I told my carpet and closed my eyes.

As it happend Reesa and I were on our way back from a party. I asked her to pick me up and as she arrived it was the wrongest moment ever. She saw me in a very close hug with the guy she was in love with. Reesa got angry and shouted "MARIE RAUHA SOILE TURUNEN!COME HERE AT ONCE!" and pulled me out of the house. I sat down in her white VW beetle and put the seatbelt on. The door flew open and she sat down in the car and crashed it closed. She didn't put the seat belt on,instead she only started her car. "How could you flirt with him!? You are 14 and he is 20!" she shouted and her face was tomato-red.
"He hugged me because of Truth or dare. Reesie,you know me. Even if I loved him,I wouldn't flirt with him. He is your crush and I can accept it." I said and heard my voice trembling.
"Uhoh. Mum's favourite daughter is talking crap again. You and your weird phases!" she shouted and tears ran down her face.
"Reesie...I am not mum's favourite. We both are. I don't love Steve, I am not even attracted to boys as I already told you...please...I am sorry." I said and bit my tongue.
"Ugh. You are like her. You are stupid and filled with hatred! You are Tuomas' daughter, not Janne's. She loves you more,believe me. You may be lesbian but still you always get what I always wanted." she said and lost the control over her car which crashed into a truck and spinned through the air like a ball.
"I'm sorry...I love you,Rees....aaaah!" was the last thing I said. The car was upside down and I opened my seat belt. Reesa wasn't there. I crawled out of the wreck and saw her half under the car. "I...love...you...May..." she whispered and closed her eyes. Her face was full with blood and her chest moved slower and slower. "I love you too,Reesie...don't die...please...please..." I said with tears streaming down my face. I caressed her cheek and kissed her on her bloody forehead. All I wanted was dying with her and I laid my head on her chest and all I heard was silence. My sister's heart has stopped beating way too early. I stayed laying next to her and cried in her beautiful dark brown hair.
Someone must have called an ambulance and the firefighters. The car was burning but I didn't care even if I would have burned to death. A firefighter pulled me away just 2 minutes before the car exploded. "REESIE!!!SHE IS STILL THERE!" I shouted and another firefighter shortly felt her pulse. "She is dead." he called to his colleaque who brought me to the ambulance. A paramedic cared about my wounds and then I fainted because,back then, I couldn't stand seeing blood.

"Sweetie...is it because Reesa's death is soon one year ago?" my mother asked. Damn,she could be a mind-reader or something.
"I miss Reesie..." I whispered.
"I miss her too ..." my mother said and pulled me into a tight hug which caused me to hang there like a stuffed animal in a little girl's arms.
"I wish I would have died instead of or with her..." I said and didn't speak into my black carpet but in my mum's long black hair.
"I am so happy you are still alive...she would have died of her disease...so this was a shorter and less painful death..." My mother's voice was trembling.
"Yes...but...It was my fault." I said and cried with my face buried in her shoulder.
"It wasn't. It was an accident. Dear,believe me...please." she said and weeped.

Reesa always said "I'm not her natural daughter. I am Janne and her other self's daughter."
Now I understand it but she will stay my sister in my heart.

"I still see it when I close my eyes. I want to escape it...I want to be free." I mumbled and my father came in.
"May,Tarja,what's up?" he asked and I could bet his black curls moved like sweet snake babies. He sat down next to my mother who made a sigh-like sound. "May is missing Reesa very bad currently...and thinking she was the reason for her death." I heard my mother saying and slowly sat up like a normal person would but my father pulled me to him and ruined my way of shortly looking normal. His strong arms almost squashed me but I would never mind. "Listen,May. You didn't cause her death...it was an accident and you aren't the reason. You did nothing wrong...she was in rage and it wasn't your fault. I am sure she would say the same to you now. Life goes on no matter how hard it is. You may fall down and cry but at some point you have to get up again. You are strong, very strong, cutie. Your mummy and I believe in you and we are always there for you if you want to talk. We love you...more than anyone or anything else." he said and carefully kissed me on my forehead. "Yes,Tuomas...äh...your dad is right." my mother Tarja said and put her arms around us.
I felt safe because I had both of my parents around me. Nothing could happen to me,I am safe here. Safe. Safer. This moment was giving me the safest feeling you could imagine.
"It is late...you should go to bed,cutie..." he mumbled into my hair.
"Yes..." I said and stood up as he let go of me.
"Tuomas,you may sleep in our bed. I will stay with May. " my mother said and quickly went to her bedroom to change her clothes.
"You know you are calling me May so often that you could have named me May instead of Marie." I said with a weird sound which should have been a laughter.
"Hm...Marie sounds so pretty so we thought May would be a good nickname and Marie a good first name." My daddy Tuomas said and smiled. I changed my clothes without minding about him. It was normal for me that he saw me in my underwear.
"Whoa...May,you're very skinny." he said and made a worried face.
"My weight is just as high as mum's. You needn't worry...but thanks for the compliment." I said and put my nightdress on.
"Your mum is a little less skinny than you. Please don't lose more weight." he said and pulled me into a careful hug.
"I'll try but I keep on losing weight no matter how much I eat." I said and hugged back.
"Hm...weird." he said and kissed me on my forehead. "Good night,cutie."
My mother came back into my room and smiled warmly and tired at us.
"Good night,daddy." I said and kissed him on his cheek.
He let go of me and left the room with a short "Good night,Tarja."
"Good night,Tuomas." mum said with a tired and cold voice.
"Their relationship is basically over,I think." A little voice inside my head said and it was probably right.
I laid down in my bed and curled up and my mother laid down next to me and cuddled with me.
I turned around and laid my head on her left shoulder listening to her calm and monotone heartbeat.

I fell asleep and dreamt of Reesa's death over and over again...