As I type words on this new keyboard connected to the old PC, I realise that my mind tries hard to stay awake at the impossible hours. How are the hours impossible? They just skip, 23:43pm turns to 00.01am. I don't know how, as I was awake counting the seconds up for them to transform into minutes, for it to seem like it is in control, when its predictability outweighs the conscience of my mind.
I may have gone on a tangent, maybe that's how time escapes me, my brain constantly working itself to sleep, but my eyes are awake. How can this be? Another question yet I need to answer, or do I? I could just leave my computer, save my electricity, stop the eye strain, and go to sleep. Why is sleep hard? That is my honest question, which is hard to answer, but it's normally me answering these questions which keep me up at night.
As I was correcting my misspellings, I realised I could be writing more if I had my recommended sleep. My subconscious wouldn't need to fight me on what is best for now, nor what I would need to do soon. What am I going on about, who knows? That's why I'm still awake. It's all the unanswered questions that fly across the pages to my soul, who is debating whether to pass out or to dream.
Just sleep. It's not hard. Just put my head down and close my eyes. It is as easy as everyone says it is. Just now, a thought came into my head-Is sleep important? Obviously it's important, but I mean, is it really? Like, if we had a choice to sleep, would we choose it? Studies show if we never slept, we would die. That's how important sleep is to all creatures, but does bacteria sleep? Do animals that live for a day sleep, or do people who want to die sleep? How important is sleeping to the individual specimen?
Let's say there's a woman who needs to sleep, 70-hour jobs every week, keeping a social life, working around family. If she sleeps, then she's losing valuable time, and what happens if she sleeps in, then she may get fired, or miss another event, or miss the passing of that random uncle. However, if she doesn't sleep, then her brain would shut down, her mental health will start leaking to her friends, her family will judge her for her lack of self-control in her life. Still questions, no answers.
One more example, but let's bring a rabbit into this, why a rabbit? Because they are fricken cute, and I had a dream about a rabbit, coincidental, I am talking about not sleeping but dreaming about a bunny. Besides the point. Let's say this bunny sleeps peacefully in its burrow until a fox tries to dig it out, does it still sleep, will it rest while the fox tears it to shreds, or will it run, run like it never ran before? No one wants to die, but some people need to make the harsh decision, what is more important than dying? For example, if the rabbit hasn't slept in days and a fox came, I don't think death would be on the mind, just sleep, too exhausted to survive. Not a little bit of energy to spare this innocent animal. It just wants sleep, but asking for sleep will be granted with death.
Yes, what is the point of this small yet confusing journey, to be honest, I don't know. I'm typing my thoughts down here and hoping it makes sense to someone, even though I doubt anyone would read this. Why would they be silly little words on a silly little page? But there are people in this world who dreamt of a computer, of a keyboard, of words, of creativity, of dreams that they thought were just dreams, but nay, this is something that I want to do. People dreamed these inventions, and now I can express myself the way I should, so I owe it to the scientists, the mathematicians, to sleep so that I can do something that I can't say I enjoy, but I can say that I can express my thoughts down into words in such an elegant way as typing.
What was my original question? How are the hours impossible? Emotions make it so, and now it's 00:25am, time flies but leaves behind a note of joy. My joy. Not happy, not excitement, not brilliance, but joy. I shall leave this last sentence for myself and for no one else. It may make no sense to you, but this is what my innermost self is saying to me as I make sense of my world.
Dream, if you keep dreaming, then one day someone will dream for you.
YOU ARE READING
Unanswered questions to sleep
General FictionThis came from a night where I was too tired to think, yet couldn't stop thinking. I kept chasing answers instead of rest, even though part of me knew sleep was the only answer that mattered.
