Nathan Eaton

Chapter 8 - Nathan William Eaton

A/N I know I've been switching between Tris and Tobias' POV, but the last chapter was getting long so I split it into two chapters so this will continue in his POV

Tobias

Once the doctor comes back with the nurses, things seem to be happening so fast. The look of determination I've seen on Tris so many times has replaced the fear. 

"Alright sweetheart, next contraction you're going to push," the doctor tells her.

It took about twenty minutes and Tris was incredible the entire time. She held my hand tightly with each push, me ready to lend her my strength, but she didn't need it. She is strong enough on her own.

With one final push, Nathan was here and the doctor laid him on Tris. I couldn't move, speak or even think. I was just in awe that we made this tiny human in front of us. It wasn't until Tris put her hand on my cheek to wipe away the tears that I even realized I was crying.

"Tris, I need to just take him for a few minutes to clean him up and examine him," one of the nurses said. My feet followed on their own, me unwilling to have him out of my sight for a second.

Once my brain started working again, I look for Tris to make sure she's is ok. When our eyes meet, I see a look of adoration on her face and she mouths that she loves me. I walk over to her, kiss her forehead and tell her I love her too. The nurse brings back Nathan to us, wrapped up in a blanket and hands him to me. I cradle him in my arms, automatically pulling him to my chest. One look at him and any remaining apprehension is gone. I'm not Marcus and I never will be. I will do anything to keep my son safe.

I sit on the edge of the bed and hand him to Tris. "He's perfect, Tris. Thank you for making me a father," I say earnestly. She smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss before turning her attention to our sleeping son.

She rocks him for a few minutes before he opens his eyes and I see Tris smile. "Tobias, he has your eyes," she says as she looks up at me.

I look at our son and see his dark blue eyes, so similar to what I see when I look in the mirror. He is truly my son, and I will always protect him. The memory of my new fear landscape is trying to work its work its way into my mind, but I refuse to let it scare me anymore.

Tris and I are alone with Nathan, and I realize as I watch this child I'd die to protect, that I owe her an explanation. I don't want to ruin this moment, but she deserves to know the whole truth.

"Tris, I need to tell you something." A moment before she was smiling down at our beautiful son, but she shifts her gaze to me, concern and confusion etched on her face.

"I'm sorry to took me so long to believe you. You knew from the beginning how I'd feel about him, but I didn't. I never told you how Marcus played a part in my new fear landscape. I was looking into a mirror and all I saw was him. I agonized for days about it, thinking he'd be gone from my landscape, only to see him back there again. I was no longer a child scared of being beaten by my father, I was now a man afraid to become him. When you told me I was going to be a father, I couldn't stop thinking about my landscape, despite it being years since I went through it."

I stop for a second, to gauge her reaction, but she is expressionless, waiting for me to continue.

"I don't feel that way anymore, I'm sure if I went back in he'd be gone from my landscape altogether."

She looks at me and smiles, placing her free hand on my cheek and I can't help but lean into her touch.

"Does that mean I should start calling you 'Three' then?" she asks with a grin.

"No, I'm definitely still 'Four'. The heights and claustrophobia aren't going anywhere, and I'm still scared of losing you, even with the war over. The difference is now I have someone else in my life that I'm terrified to lose," I say as I kiss my sleeping son on his forehead.