Nathan Eaton

Chapter 4 - The First Trimester

Tris

"What about this one?" Christina asks me. She's holding up a skin tight dress.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm 3 months pregnant. I'm not wearing that dress."

"You're barely showing, I promise you Four would love it."

I can't tell her how much I wish that were true. Tobias is getting better, but I know he isn't excited about this pregnancy at all. The first few nights after I told him, he didn't sleep and even though he's trying to hide it, I can see the anxiety he's dealing with on a constant basis.

He's trying so hard though to be the perfect supportive husband. He's making sure I'm eating the right healthy foods, he makes sure I get plenty of sleep, he even comes to all my appointments. He's doing everything I could ask for and more, except for enjoying this special time with me.

This is why Christina is out shopping with me, I want to plan a special day with him, to try and get him out of his funk. He hasn't been himself these past three months.

"Ok then, how about this one?" She holds out a grey, flowing dress. It looks a little short, but I think Tobias would appreciate that.

"That's better, let me try it on," I tell her. I go into the dressing room and as soon as I put it on, I know it's the right dress. It's short, like I had predicted, but it's loose enough that you can't see my swollen belly.

I come out of the dressing room and twirl for Christina. "What do you think?" I ask her.

"It's perfect, how about some heels?"

"I don't think so. I've got a pair of flats at home I can wear. Come on, I've got to get home to put the roast in the oven."

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The dinner is done and Tobias is due home any minute. I run to the bedroom to quickly change, do my hair and put a little make-up on. I can hear the key in the lock, so I run to door so I can greet him.

I stand there waiting to see his reaction, and I'm happy he doesn't disappoint. The second he looks at me his eyes widen and I see a look of love on his face that has been missing these past three months.

"Tris, you look beautiful," he says before pulling me in his arms and kissing me gently. Before I know it I start tearing up. Damn hormones.

Tobias pulls back at looks at me. "What's wrong, Tris?"

I don't want to talk about it quite yet, not knowing how to bring up the subject. "It's just the hormones, let's eat before it gets cold. I made your favorite," I say with a smile.

We begin to eat in silence, but our lack of talking is killing me. I guess it's now or never.

"Tobias, are you happy with me?" It's a hard question to ask. I don't doubt his love for me for a second, but he doesn't seem happy with me. Today was the first time the affection he gave me didn't seem forced.

"How can you say that? Of course I love you."

"That's not what I asked. I know you do, what I want to know is if you're happy. And I want the truth, not these half-truths you keeps telling me."

He looks down at his barely touched plate, "Tris, I swear I'm trying so hard to be happy."

With that I can't even blame the hormones, hearing him say that is breaking my heart and the tears start coming down.

"Please don't cry," he says as he comes over to me. He scoops me up and carries me to the couch where we sit with me on his lap. He wraps his arms around me tightly, "Please Tris, don't cry."

"How can I not? You shouldn't have to try to be happy with the person you love, it's supposed to happen naturally. We were fine until I got pregnant, if you didn't want a baby, why did you agree?"

"It's not that I don't want a baby, I swear. All I've ever wanted was a family with you. Maybe I would be better if I didn't have to see Marcus all the time, but he's always there as a constant reminder of what I could become. You know, the other day he actually told me he was proud of me. I almost lost it right there. What kind of person am I if I make him proud? Or how about a couple months ago when I told my mom you were pregnant and he overheard. The look he gave me scared the heck out of me, like he knew I'd be just like him."

He's breathing heavily, like he's truly frightened. I knew he was nervous, but I didn't realize it was this bad.

"Tobias, why didn't you ever tell me this is how you felt? I didn't know you were this scared. I wish there was a way I could convince you that you'll never be your father."

"I'm sorry, Tris. I've been trying so hard to be the husband you deserve and I guess I was only  thinking about me and my feelings."

I pull him closer to me, so our foreheads are touching. "You have been so good to me during the pregnancy, it was just that you seemed like you felt obligated." 

He gives me a slight grin. "Well I am obligated. It's my job to take care of you, and I guess him or her too," he says as he puts his hand gently on my belly. This is the first time he's ever done that. "I swear, I'll try to be better."

"No, you don't have to be better. There's no one better than you. Instead, try to stop worrying. I promise you, everything is going to work out. I miss you."

"Miss me? What do you mean?" He says with a confused look. I don't answer him, instead I turn so I'm straddling him and lean in to kiss him. I take off his shirt and run my hands along his chest. Oh how I've missed this.

He slowly runs his hands up my thighs and under the dress, his hands sending little jolts of electricity across my skin.

"I really like this dress, but you're beautiful in jeans and a sweatshirt too," he tells me his hands continuing up my sides, skimming the sides of my breasts. "Then again, this dress does have its advantages," he says as he continues to running his hands all over me.

I don't think I could speak even I had a comment ready, instead I just sigh into his mouth. He picks me up and carries me to the bedroom, placing me gently on the bed. He takes his time as he removes my clothes and I start to feel nervous. He hasn't really looked at me much since I got pregnant, but when he stares at me all I see is love in his eyes.

I help him remove the rest of his clothing, anxious to have him. We haven't had sex since the day before I told him I was pregnant.

"You on top, Tris, I don't want to hurt you or the baby." I'm more than happy to oblige, so I crawl on top and slowly lower myself onto him. Hearing him groan is almost my undoing. I lean down to kiss him and whisper, "We are never waiting 3 months to do this again."

"Deal," he says as he sighs against my lips.

We lay there for a few minutes afterward when he says "I love you Tris, and I love the baby too, even if I've done a horrible job of showing it."

"I love you too, Tobias," I say, happier than I felt in a while. I hesitate before continuing, "Do you mind if we finish eating? I'm starving."

He looks at me and laughs, "Of course, and I promise this time I'll keep it down."

I laugh too, "You better or I won't make it anymore."

We both dress and head back to the table hand in hand to eat our now cold dinner, neither of us able to keep the smiles off our faces.