Cockroach Chick

Chapter 9: Emotions only cause commotions

At 6:00 Ms. Pufferman told us to head to the cafeteria.  We all got up and placed our notebooks on her desk. I ripped out the notes I made from the notebook and stuffed them into my back pocket, excited to show Drue what I found out. I then stepped into the hallway and practically sprinted towards the cafeteria. 

I pushed open the metal doors and scoped around for Drue.  I headed to the line with a sigh, realizing he wasn’t here. I picked up my tray of “steak” and sat down at deserted table. Or so I thought…

“You gonna eat that, Ren?” A familiar voiced asked me. I looked up and noticed it was Steven. One of Drue’s old friends, another delinquent like Drue, but not nearly as cute as Drue… Okay so he wasn’t THAT bad looking. He was tan, buff, and stood around 5’9. He was a gentle giant, as most would say.

“Nope, you can have it if you like. If you get a virus, it’s not my fault.” I replied innocently.

“Thanks.” He answered, grabbing my tray and sliding towards his.

We both just sat there in a hypnotic trance of awkwardness. I simply stared at him as he inhaled the steak. I wasn’t even sure if he had been actually chewing it. It also seemed as if he was ignoring my presence entirely.

After several seconds he’d glance up at me, squint his eyes, and again his eyes would drop. Back to his tray.

After I realized this is all I would get out of the presence of Steven, I slowly got up and began to walk toward the door.

As I reached for it he calmly stated “You know…he really likes you.”

I stopped in my tracks, contemplating on what to say. “Well I love him, too.” I practically blurted out without realization of what I just said.

I then continued to walk out the cafeteria, picking up my pace as I saw Steven getting up from the corner of my eye.

As I stalked the endless corridors of my home that’s not a home, I began to wonder if what I said was true. I knew I loved Drue. Obviously. I just wasn’t sure if he had really felt the same way. I mean… Steven said he liked me. Love and like are two very different things.

My thoughts were interrupted as I tripped over a crease in the rug on the ground. I took most of the fall with my forearms, hence it didn’t hurt too much.

“Fucking bull shit.” I whispered clearly agitated, as I brushed off my clothes.

I sighed and continued to wak through this home (I repeat) that is not really a home. I say it is not a home because a home is “the place where one lives”.  I am not living. I’m simply breathing… and my heart is beating. But I’m not truly living, because I’m not alive. See how this all connects?

I made a left turn, and continued to lazily walk down the hallway towards my room and

as I got to it, I noticed a bored Drue lying by the door, staring blankly at the ceiling.