The Persistence of Memory

Chapter Twenty

A strange look cuts across his face as he leans forward.  It presses my foot harder into the warmth of his thigh, his cock.

"First date?" he nods slowly.   "Ok, so how's the second one going to work?"

My body hardens and my shoulders tense up.  So he had been thinking about it too.  About after.  In two days we'd have to go back to the city, and I honestly had no clue what that meant. What it meant for Oliver and I.  For Aidan and I. I glance down away from him and look at my hands, my left hand specifically to where my platinum wedding band is glinting in the orange glow of the restaurant. When I lift my eyes a moment later he looks expectant and a little tense.  I don't want to talk about this right now. I want to pretend for a little while longer. 

"You never told me what the 4th thing was," I smile, wondering how long I could avoid thinking about the subject entirely. The subject of Aidan, and how I'd deal with not being with him. Because maybe Aidan will be another thing that I'll need to learn to live without.   Something else that I would probably need Esther to help me live without.

He stares at me a long time before speaking.  "You were supposed to guess," he says quietly, a little reserved now.    

At that moment the girl comes back and places the dessert menu down in front of me, which I lift and pretend to look at. I can still feel his eyes on me, intense and heavy. "Ok... what about eating?" I ask.

He shakes his head.  "That one isn't allowed.  I'd die if I didn't eat. Like breathing, sleeping and pissing — I do those a lot too.  Necessary."

"Good point, ok," I nod and look back down at the menu, properly this time. "Oh, they have Eton mess —my grandma made the best Eton mess," I tell him pointlessly. "How strange they have it here."

"Never tried it."

"Oh, then I'll get that and you can share it with me?" I suggest. 

"We going to be like those disgusting couples who ask for two spoons?" He smirks. My stomach flutters.  Is that how he saw us?  A couple?  Were we a couple?  He probably meant it as a figure of speech.

"Definitely," I nod, turning my menu face down to signal I'm done deciding.  "So drinking, working, and music.  No basic human requirements permitted... hmmm what else is there?" 

Under the table, he begins to stroke and massage my foot, strong warm squeezes of my toes and instep which make my whole body relax and soften. His eyes as we stare at each other are smiling and tender and then the waitress comes over to take my dessert order. 

"Two spoons, please," Aidan adds after I tell her what I want.  I smile at him and glance around at the waitress who gives me a tight smile before spinning on her heel and striding off.  Oh, she hates me. She wants him and hates me because I get to have him. Then, like a light bulb being switched on, I suddenly know what the final thing is. 

"Sex," I say.

"Sure, where?" He nods, swallowing the last of his wine. 

I laugh. "No, I mean that's the fourth thing."

His eyes light up and his bottom lip disappears into his mouth as he smiles. I was right.  I don't know how I feel about being right.

"Thought you'd have got that one first, to be honest," he remarks. From nowhere the image of him making love to Sasha and numerous other glamorous, waif-like women whips through my mind and I feel my fingers curl and my body tense again. Then I begin to feel cold and a little foolish. I go to move my foot away from its spot between his legs but he grips it hard and holds it in place. "Though to be fair, I'm having a shit load more of it since yesterday afternoon. If you'd asked me this on Thursday I'd have said something else."