Squib On The Run (sequel to Squib In The basement)

59. What Makes A Man?

Since Cassiopeia didn't like Snape probing around inside her head, she focused all of her efforts into mastering Occlumency.
Snape, to his credit, never mentioned the memories he saw in her mind, during their sessions. And Cassiopeia greatly appreciated this.
But at the end of their last meeting, even Snape was struggling to see anything inside her head. The shields inside her mind were so thick, that he was convinced no one would be able to use Legilimency on her.

Snape's praise was music to Cassiopeia's ears, but she knew she couldn't let herself get complacent. She would need to keep practing Occlumency, if she wanted to keep the walls up inside her head.
"What are you thinking?" Questioned Sirius, breaking through the silence one afternoon.
"What did you say?" Asked Cassiopeia, who had been staring at the wall, blocking out the world, so that she could think.
"I was just asking what you were thinking about. When we kids I could always tell what was going on inside your head. But these days, it's like looking at a stranger" admitted Sirius.
"Well, we've both grown up since then. I've also been practicing Occlumency, to shield my thoughts from invaders".

"Isn't that what Snape is teaching Harry?" Quizzed Sirius.
"Yes. When Severus mentioned it, I was intrigued, so I began using the Black library to study it. And I've gotten pretty good at it, if I do say so myself" replied Cassiopeia.
"Since when are you and Snape on a first name basis?" Frowned Sirius.
"Well, it is his actual name. It makes no sense for me to use his surname, when I'm not his student".
"She's got a point" agreed Remus.
"Don't you go siding with her" scolded Sirius.
"I will if she's right" replied Remus.

"Anyway, forget about Severus. To answer your earlier question, it shouldn't be too difficult for you to deduce what I am thinking about. Since Dumbledore's departure from Hogwarts is on all of our minds" sighed Cassiopeia.
"Yes. Him fleeing the school, leaving Umbridge in charge, wasn't really the best thing that could happen for us" agreed Sirius.
"At least he took the fall for Harry, so that our godson didn't get expelled. But now there is no one at Hogwarts to protect him"
"Harry can look after himself".

Cassiopeia would have argued with Sirius, if Harry's head hadn't suddenly appeared in the fireplace that very moment.
"Harry! What's wrong? Are you O.K?" Demanded Cassiopeia, as her, Sirius, and Remus dropped to their knees and crawled over to the fireplace.
"I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to you all" reassured Harry.
"But you know the fireplaces aren't safe. They're being monitored" reminded Cassiopeia.
"Don't worry, I'm using Umbridge's fireplace, since her's isn't being watched. Fred and George are keeping her occupied for me, so that I can talk to you guys".

"What did you want to talk to us about?" Questioned Sirius.
"Well, I wanted to ask you some questions about my dad" revealed Harry.
He then explained that he had seen a memory of his father, during his Occlumency lesson with Snape.
The memory hadn't shown James in a very good light, and now Harry was starting to doubt what kind of man his father really was.

"I don't want you to judge your father too harshly Harry, we were only 15-" started Remus.
"I'm 15" interupted Harry.
"What I mean is, lots of people are idiots at 15, but they grow out of it" explained Remus.
"Exactly. Just because you saw one memory from Snape's point of view, it doesn't mean you know what your dad was really like" added Sirius.
"Maybe not. But you guys just attacked Snape out of the blue, because you said you were bored" replied Harry.
"I'm not proud of the way we acted" Sirius said quickly.

"Look Harry, what you need to understand, is that Snape and James hated each other, from the moment they met. James was everything that Snape wanted to be; popular, good at Quidditch, and fancied by all the girls. Whereas Snape was just an oddball who was obsessed with the dark arts. And no matter what you saw in that memory, James always hated the dark arts" insisted Remus.
"Remus is right. I may not have known James at school, so I don't know what he was like there. But I knew him at home. He was kind and respectful to his parents, and extremely welcoming to outsiders. He invited me and my brother Regulus, to a party at his house, even though he didn't know us very well. He did it to be kind, and to get to know Sirius's family better. Picking on one person at school when you're a kid, doesn't erase all of your good deeds" added Cassiopeia.

"Maybe. But a few good deeds doesn't stop you from being a bully" Harry said quietly.
"James may have picked on Snape a bit, but he was not a bully. Bullies hurt people weaker than themselves, to build themselves up. It's what the death eaters do. But James helped those weaker than him. He invited weak, talentless Peter into his friend group, so that he wouldn't be alone. He made friends with a werewolf, and became an animagus, just to keep him company. And even he let me, a Squib, hang out with him and his friends, whenever he could. His home was always welcome to me. And I don't know many people who would let their best friend's sister tag along to every occasion. He never treated me like a spare part or a third wheel, I was just another one of his good friends. James was like a brother to me, and he showed me kindness whenever he could. That is not the kind of thing that bullies do" replied Cassiopeia.

"I guess he did help a lot of people" sighed Harry.
"Yes, he did. He was always there for me and Sirius. Whenever we needed somewhere to go, he was there with open arms. He even defended me when my family tried to bully me at a funeral. It was like having a personal body guard. He knew I couldn't defend myself, not back then, so he took it upon himself to watch over me. And that night in Godric's Hollow, when Voldemort came for you, he screamed for me to run and save myself. Right up until the end of his life, he was trying to protect other people. So, believe me when I say, that your father was a good man" revealed Cassiopeia.

"I get what you're saying about him. I suppose I just never thought that I would feel sorry for Snape" admitted Harry.
"Speaking of Snape, what did he do when he realised you had seen this memory of his?" Asked Remus.
"He threw me out of his office, and told me never to come back. Like I'm really going to miss those sessions" revealed Harry.
"What! He's stopped teaching you!" Gasped Cassiopeia.
"Yeah. But like I said, I don't really care, since I hated those lessons with him" admitted Harry.

"This is serious Harry, you have to go back and apologise to him, and beg him to restart your Occlumency lessons" demanded Cassiopeia.
"I can't do that, you didn't see how mad he was, it was scary. Besides, why should I have to apologise to him and beg for him to take me back on as his pupil?" Asked Harry.
"Those memories are incredibly painful and private to Severus, which is why he placed them in the Pensieve before each session, so that you wouldn't accidentally see them. You had no right to stick your head in said Pensieve, to watch his memories. You owe him an apology. And hopefully your apology will encourage him to train you again" replied Cassiopeia.

"If it doesn't, I'm going up there myself, to sort him out" warned Sirius.
"Since you're a wanted criminal, I don't think that would be a very good idea. I'll write to Severus, and get him to reconsider" said Cassiopeia.
"And I will write to Dumbledore, hopefully he will use his influence over Snape, to get him to see sense" added Remus.
"While we are doing this, you must practice your Occlumency skills each night. Nothing is more important that you becoming good at this, do you understand Harry?" Questioned Cassiopeia.
"Yeah, I understand" mumbled Harry.

"Good. Now, you had better get going, as I'm sure the twins can't keep Umbridge distracted forever. And please try to stay out of trouble for the rest of the year" begged Cassiopeia.
"You know what I'm like. Trouble seems to find me, like a magnet. But I will try my best to keep my head down, as all I want to do is pass my OWLs" sighed Harry.
"Well, we wish you the best of luck. I know you will make us all proud" replied Cassiopeia.
"Goodbye Cass"
"Goodbye Harry, and good luck".

When Harry retracted his head from the fireplace, Cassiopeia and the others got to their feet.
"This is not good. If Harry doesn't learn to protect his mind, then he will be vulnerable to attacks from Voldemort" trembled Cassiopeia.
"I'll write to Dumbledore, he'll sort Snape out" reassured Remus.
"But what if he doesn't?" Asked Cassiopeia.
"Then we will just have to pray that Voldemort doesn't attempt to invade Harry's mind. Because if he does, we will all be in danger".
"I don't like that all of our hopes are placed on Snape" grumbled Sirius.
"We don't have a choice. He is the only one who can teach Harry Occlumency. So, for now, our future is in Severus's hands" admitted Cassiopeia.