Last Seen In San Francisco (Tony Perry)

• Got No Weight On My Shoulders •

{ t w e n t y s i x }

'Meet me at St Leigh park at 2? Is that time good for you?' Was the text that I woke up to. Tony sent it at a few minutes past 8am and I read it at 11. That really shows our difference in schedule. Why would he be up that early on a Sunday? Lord if I knew.

Either way, I text him back a short 'yes' and reluctantly got out of bed.

I put myself together quickly and went out into the main area to see Lexis playing with Madison on the coffee table. I didn't say anything, just smiled and watched for a few seconds before going into the kitchen and putting the kettle on to make some coffee.

I'll have to wake myself up somehow if I'm going to be spending the day with my ex.

*

"Come on Maddie, we're already late baby." She groaned and put her arms in the air. At 6 years old, she still asks to be carried when her legs get too tired or she feels lazy. I rolled my eyes and turned around. She put her arms around my neck and I pulled her legs around my waist. I felt her head resting on my shoulder as we got to the gate of St Leigh park.

I saw Tony's figure covered with a dark blue hoody, with the hood up and the draw strings pulled in. I can tell it's him though; I guess that's some sort of gift.

"Maddie? Madison?" I asked, her head still leaning on my shoulder. After a few seconds of no reply, I realised that she's probably just asleep. I walked over to Tony anyway and tapped him on the shoulder lightly. He took his good down.

"Hey Lydia," he greeted with a smile. He looked to my shoulder and his smile for bigger, probably looking at Madison.

"Do you want me to wake her up?" I asked him. He shook his head almost straight after.

"No just leave her, let's just walk and wait till she's awake." He gestured to the gate and we walked into the park. The weather isn't that great today, cloudy and cold, so I'm not really surprised that nobody is around.

As we began walking, I felt awkward. It's only common though, surely, after seeing someone who used to be one of the biggest parts of your life and spending time with them again. We sat at a bench and I pulled Maddie forward and put her head on my lap while the rest of her body lay on the bench. Tony sat on the other side, with her feet dangling off his lap.

"She's so cute, I can't believe I wasn't...you know." Tony said quietly, looking down at her. I looked too and moved the hair out of her face.

"I'm sorry." I told him, knowing he was talking about not seeing her for years. It's only a coincidence he's really seeing her now. I smiled to myself thinking 'or maybe fate' but I could never bring myself to believe in that.

"No," Tony said suddenly but still keeping the quiet tone. "I am. This is my fault Lyd, I was..."

"An asshole." I inputted, keeping my smile but meaning it. He nodded and I saw his cheeks taint to a flushed pink colour. I stroked her hair away from her face again, keeping it all behind her ears and bunching it up. After a while, I started to plait it, tony just watched us both interact in awe.

"I knew you'd be a good mother as soon as I found out you were pregnant." He told me, and I started to feel awkward again. He's bringing up the past and it's weird to think about. I blocked most of it out of my mind years ago, and now it's all coming back in dreams and flashbacks, and people are even talking about it all the time.

"Thanks," I told him anyway, trying to brush off the subject.

"We brought out bonus songs to the album when you left," he told me, and I looked up confused but he just gave me a small smile. I got what he was doing, he understood that I didn't want to talk about our time together and now he's talking about our time apart instead.

I don't know if that's better or worse but I guess it's something to converse about.

"Vic got really into the music, and he broke up with Becca," I looked up shocked. Who would've thought there'd be trouble in paradise, "I almost left the band because I was happy that he was feeling the same way as me, and then I started arguing with everyone...doing some other stupid stuff." I think it's worse to talk about this.

"But anyway," he continued, shaking his head as if he didn't intend to tell me that. "It only lasted a few weeks before he realised how stupid he was being and asked her back. They got married a few months after, and we all stopped arguing so much. Jaime got a girlfriend too, they're still together now." I wondered briefly where she was if they were all moving here but it isn't my privilege to ask.

"We toured for a couple of years, we've practically been all over the world. It's amazing." He smiled, looking down at Maddie again and then tipping his head up so his eyes met mine. Why is he telling me all of this? He sighed, as if he understood my confusion.

"I'm sorry I didn't see at the time how much of a dick I became. I got big-headed and I did some stupid things that I'll always regret, but I didn't mean to hurt you Lydia, not now and not at the time. It must really suck to see me again, huh?" And there it was, an apology that I'd waited for for 6 years, and countless weeks before I brought myself to leave the tour and hide myself away. Just like that and all I could do was nod my head, not even sure what I was agreeing to.

"I'm kind of glad actually." I told him and his head shot up, "Madison deserves a Dad and there could be worse people to take up the job." I explained and he seemed to understand what I was saying.

He can spend time with her without the centre. Madison deserves it and I'd be lying to myself if I said that Tony didn't.

"Thank you," he told me, and the sincere smile on his face was enough to make me smile back a genuine smile.