Manic Attack

IV. Hilfiger It Out

With that statement- which would hold no value by the end of the day- he stumbled towards the washroom. Rodney, you see, was a guy who took his honey blonde, super soft hair more seriously than he took death threats. Even though he was straight, he was as gay as a straight person could ever be. I'm talking gay as in the stereotypical homosexual who judged you by your shoes and walked with a certain sway of their non-existent hips. Still, that didn't stop him from sticking a picture of Megan Fox in his wallet.

"Hey, Knightley." Tanya, the perpetually exhausted floor manager, peered over my cubicle wall. Her pretty brown eyes studied my little workspace, probably judging the direction in which my pen stand was facing.

"Tanya," I greeted, shooting her a quick smile before I got back to typing. "How have you been?"

"I've been great, thanks. How about you?"

"Yeah, me too."

Her fingers drummed a rhythm against the plastic divider. "So, I read the news this morning."

"That's nice. It's a good habit."

"Yeah, well, I read it every day."

"Even better."

She cleared her throat. "I read the news about you and Edward Moseby."

My hands stopped typing. I should've seen her question coming from a mile away. Monica Knightley's salacious behavior was going to be the trending gossip for weeks to come. Scandal was the oxygen that kept my colleagues up and functioning.

"It was on the front page of most of the tabloids. If you hadn't read about it, I would suggest you ditch whichever newspaper you're subscribed to and refer to Buzzfeed instead."

Her eyes held the same judgmental look, only this time it had amplified about ten times. "This isn't funny, Knightley. Do you have any idea how your actions have affected our readership?"

"What does an absurd rumor have anything to do with my column's readership?" I asked in confusion. "I am the one being called a cheating gold digger, not the magazine."

"Time for a reality check, honey. Guess who you work for?" Tanya pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "You know that you represent the relatable side of #GetTrending- the lovechild of Mary Poppins and Fix-It Felix who has the solution to every kind of sticky situation one could fall in."

"Why, thank you. It's a gift--"

"Ever since news of your sleazy little "adventure" wreaked havoc on Friday night, downvotes on Miss Manic's blog posts have increased by twelve percent. There's a steep surge in hate comments and someone even started a Boycott Miss Manic thread on Reddit."

Is that why my inbox was so quiet this morning?

Clearly, infidelity only looked good to people when the Kardashians and their best friends did it. Fashion and lifestyle columnists will get downvoted and abandoned at the slightest misunderstanding. What a two-faced generation we lived in.

Tanya looked down at me with a sigh. The disappointment in her eyes had reduced to sympathy and tired affection. "You're not the only one who loves Daniel Shaw, you know. There are always going to be three people in your relationship- you, the Daniel Shaw, and half of the female American population."

"Pretty sure that's more than three people."

"The least you can do right now is catching my drift."

She was shoved to the side with an 'oof' as Rod invaded my workspace, breathing heavily and dabbing at his neck with a napkin.

"Threw up too much?" I asked. Focusing on Rod's borderline alcoholism seemed like the easier option than thinking about the damage I had caused to my professional image in the span of two days. Distractions had helped me through the weekend, after all.