My Dear Enemy (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 4

 S.S.R Headquarters, New York.

    

     "He's been like this for days. We have to do something about it." Steve heard a woman say in the distance.

     "Peggy, let him be. He's mourning. Given his situation, he'll be fine in a few days." Steve recognized this voice as Colonel Philips.

     He sat in a wooden chair that faced a wall. He counted to himself - today marked the fifth day he was sitting there. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep.

     Today marks the fifth day since Bucky died, Steve thought to himself. All of the memories of the train incident came flooding into his head.

Bucky fell...

He's gone...

I could have saved him...

It's my fault...

     Steve didn't remember anything else. He didn't remember the plan backfiring and the train not being able to stop. He didn't remember the SSR air-lifting the rest of the Howling Commandos out of there. He didn't remember not finding Dr. Zola... his one mission. Instead, he lost Bucky.

     He lost Bucky.

     The one person who was there for him no matter what. Who took him in when his parents died. Who listened to him, who trusted him.

     He trusted me,  Steve thought. 

     With all of the thoughts exploding in his mind, he was in agony. He put his head in his hands and started sobbing.

     The door opened. Peggy Carter walked in.

     "Hello, Steve". She said.

     "Peggy." He said, trying to fake a smile.

     He immediately sat up and whiped his tears. He didn't like crying in front of anyone... especially Peggy. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

     Peggy dragged a chair over and put it down right in front of Steve. She then sat down, and put her hand on his.

     "Steve.... I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be going through. But it's been 5 days. You have to eat something... or try to sleep." she said, sounding concerned.

     He appreciated Peggy's effort, but he wasn't going to try. The sooner he returned to his normal life, the sooner he would forget about Bucky. And he could never forget about Bucky... he was the only real family he ever had.

     She looked at Steve's unresponsive face and frowned. He wasn't listening. She had never seen him this upset before.

     "Fine." she sighed. She moved the chair next to him and sat down.

     "I will just stay here with you until you decide to talk to me." Peggy said.

     Steve looked up at her, then back down. He stayed silent for a while, then decided it wasn't fair for Peggy.

     "When my dad died.... Bucky was there for me. My mom was a nurse in the war, and Bucky was the only family I had. When my mom died... I was completely alone. No money, no parents. Bucky took me in. He fed me, gave me a home...  he was my best friend. He had faith in me."

     Peggy noticed Steve's face contort to an emotion she had never seen before.

     "He was always there for me. Always supporting me. The one time he needed my help, I failed him." Steve said.

     "I was the only one who could have saved him, and I failed him. My best friend, James Buchanan Barnes died right in front of me. And I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him..." his voice faltered off.

     Tears started falling down and Steve quickly swatted them away. He sat there, unable to make eye contact with Peggy, unable to speak anymore.

     Peggy hugged him for what felt like hours. He needed someone at a time like this and Peggy decided to be that person.

     "Steve this is not your fault." She said.

     "You cannot think like that. Consider it an honor to fight with him. You spent the last few months side by side with your best friend. He died for what he believed in. He knew what he signed himself up for. Be proud of his acts; he was noble and brave." She said.

     "You have every right to be upset. But understand that it is not your fault. He died for his country. He will be honored and remembered, no matter what." She added.

     Steve thought about everything she said. Although it didn't make him feel better, she was correct about some things. He should be honored. James Buchanan Barnes was a hero for his country.

     Steve stood up, and asked Peggy to escort him to his room. They walked, hand in hand, and Steve lay down in his bed. For the first time in 5 days, his thoughts came to a halt as he fell asleep.

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Author's note:

     Once again, for anyone reading this, thank you so much. It means so much that I get to write about what I love. Vote and leave a comment about what you like or think should be changed. More updates soon! - L