The Dying Rose (Completed)

Chapter 18: Waterfalls and Nightmares

The next two weeks passed just as quickly as the last two had. The morning of the new moon dawned much too early for me. I was still worried about both of my sisters, and kept having nightmares about them. I slept restlessly, and when I awoke, it was in a clammy panic. I couldn't shake the terror that I was feeling, so I peeked in on them both through the mirror. Oriabelle was still soundly and peacefully asleep. Petronille, meanwhile, was already up and starting on her chores. The poor child was going to work herself into an early grave this way...

Maybe I should see if Beast would let me go home...

No. He only had a month left. I could wait a month. My sisters can take care of themselves for a month. And, if I did go home, there was no way that Papa would let me return.

But I would give all the gold in the realm to be able to hug them all, to tell them how much I love them.

If only I could be in two places at once...

I dressed myself quietly, trying not to think. I peered out of the lavender curtain that covered the window in my room. The sun hadn't even risen yet. Sure that all of the castle was still asleep, I pulled a chair to the window, and sat there, watching, until the sun rose in a haze of pinks, and slowly turned the sky from deepest violet to soft blue.

My thoughts were haunted still by the worry that had coated me for the last two weeks. Beast was continually trying to distract me, and sometimes he succeeded. The way he tried to make sure I was happy was endearing. It led me to worry not just about my sisters, but about him, as well. He was so focused on me that I wondered if he wasn't being so attentive to keep his mind off of the future. Some days I looked at him, and I wondered if, in another time, our friendship would have come to be. Would we have ever met? Would we still be drawn to one another, still spend so many hours together?

And then, there were other thoughts, thoughts that scared me.

I began to realize that, when he was gone, my heart was going to break, just like it had when my mother died. And I wasn't sure I was going to be able to deal with it. He had been the only face I had seen for the last few months. I knew the sound of his footfalls, the smell of his fur mingled with the smoke from the fireplaces, his deep booming laugh... Everything was so strong in my memory that I couldn't imagine that in a month I'd never see him, never smell him or touch him again. And when I tried, my chest felt like it would implode.

I decided that maybe I'm cursed; cursed for everyone around me to die, or to suffer. Perhaps, if I ran away and went back to the village, Beast could focus on breaking the curse. Maybe I could lead Henri away from my sisters. Then everything would be ok. Wouldn't it?

I sighed, frustrated with myself, and my overactive mind. I knew I had been so distracted lately that I was probably depressing Beast as well.

I promised myself that today, and until the end, I would be cheerful, for him.

******

Beast slept through breakfast that morning. At least, I presumed he was asleep. It worried me, for he was usually up before I was. Maybe I had been so absorbed in my own problems I had missed something. Was he ill?

I got my answer when the sun shone directly overhead. Thea had prepared lunch, and I sat at the table, waiting and hoping that Beast would show up for lunch. As I finally resigned myself to lunch alone as well, the door to the dining room swept open, and Beast came in. He looked ruffled, and groggy.

"I apologize that I didn't join you for breakfast, Belle. I do hope you will forgive me. I didn't sleep so well; in fact, I was up at sunrise. I guess I fell back asleep, and I just woke up a few moments ago. When I saw how bright the room had grown, and I realized how high the sun had risen, I rushed downstairs."