Breaking The Rules (Camren)

17

Lauren's POV:

I couldn't breathe, I felt like the school walls were closing in on me and there was no way out! I can't believe I raised a knife to Camila! What the hell was I thinking?! Ever since the incident happened over an hour ago, I've felt nothing but guilt wash over me. What the fuck would have happened if I hadn't stopped myself? Would Camila even be alive right now? I don't feel as drugged up as I was before, which is a good sign but the more sober I got, the more regretfully guilty I felt.

"Hey Laur!" Dinah smiled, approaching me. "Woah, what happened to you?"

"Can we talk, please." I sniffed, fighting back the urge to break down.

"Yeah, of course, follow me." Dinah wrapped her arm around my neck as we made our way to the girls' restroom.

"What's up then?" Dinah questioned, "Apart from the ceiling, obviously!" Dinah joked sarcastically, trying to put a smile on my face.

"I'm a terrible person, DJ" I sighed as I leaned back against one of the stall doors.

I told Dinah everything that had happened that day, from Matt, to the drugs, to Camila, crying uncontrollably throughout.

"Lauren, do you like Matt? Like, really like him?" Dinah asked carefully.

"Yes." I defended, quickly. "I already told you Dinah, I'm straight!" I sighed. I'm really starting to get fed up of people not believing me.

"I don't want you to go anywhere near him, Lauren! He's bad news!" Dinah said sincerely. After a few moments she spoke again, "Lauren why are you back on the drugs?"

"I can't help it, Dinah!" I wailed. "You know what I'm like, I can't control myself...with anything."

"Yes you can!" She smiled encouragingly. "Look how strong  you've been recently!" Dinah positively smiled but when I didn't return it and looked down at my feet, Dinah knew I hadn't been.

"You have been...right?" Dinah asked, hopefully. I still stayed mute. "Oh Lauren, please  tell me you haven't!" Dinah whimpered sadly. When I still didn't say anything, Dinah took this opportunity to find out for herself. She took a few steps forward, leaving only a few inches between us as she grabbed my arm, placing my wrist in her hand. She took a deep breath before she slowly but gently pulled back the sleeve of my leather jacket, revealing several deep cuts engraved on my skin.

"Oh my god!" Dinah gasped, "It all makes sense now! You were carrying that around school to use on yourself, not on others." I nodded as more tears fell from both our eyes. Dinah's a smart girl, I give her that.

"Give me the knife." Dinah ordered calmly. When I didn't hand it over, she began to raise her voice. "Give me the knife!" I still didn't move. "Lauren, it's for your own safety, now pass it over before I give you a Poly beat down!" I really didn't want one of them! The last time Dinah gave me one, I thought she'd broken my ankle! I nodded to her before my shaking hands made their way to my jean pocket, removing the weapon before handing it to Dinah.

"I'm proud of you." Dinah smiled.

"Don't know why." I said bluntly, avoiding her gaze.

"Lauren, you need help, I mean it!" Dinah spoke seriously. "You smoke god knows how many cigarettes in a day, you're taking drugs again, even after last time, you drink the strongest alcohol there is, you're cutting again, you have anger issues, depression...the list goes on." Dinah sighed. "Wait, you are eating aren't you?" Dinah's eyes skimmed my body. "Yes, you are." She confirmed.