December 13th

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We fell on a bed of flowers while laughing. I've never been so happy for a long time. "Minseok hyung, do you miss me?" He said with a smile. "Yes... YES!" I cried and hugged him. He felt warm and just like the Chen I knew. "Minseok hyung, I miss you too... I hope you are happy that I'm here with you." "I am, Jongdae ssi. I miss you so much. I want you to be by my side." I said. Chen shook his head, "It's not time yet, I can't return... I don't when I can return to your side." "Are you mad at me? I'm so so so sorry for what I've done... I just wish I could turn back time and return to that night and stop myself." Chen sighed, "Minseok hyung, I don't blame you... but some things can't be changed... You can't change the past." "Jongdae ssi, I want to return to you, please... Come back." Chen got up and looked at me, "Xiumin hyung, you can't hold on to the past, you have to let go and move on... Don't hold on to me, I need to be free again, you have to be free again." "I can't let go, not you..." I said sadly. "You can, if they want us to separate, we have to.... But, I know... I believe in Miracles... I'll return to you one day... There are full of Miracles in December, I will be back." Chen said as he looked at the sky. The sun was shining at him beautifully, "Don't let your hopes down, Minseok hyung. Let go of the past and move on to the future..." He said as he disappeared. I tried to grab him but I got nothing. I rolled into a ball and started to cry. "I'll wait for you, I'll believe in miracles, Jongdae ssi..."

I woke up with Chen looking at me. "Minseok hyung, are you okay?" He asked with concern. I sat up and nodded, "Don't worry, Jongdae ssi, I'm just tired. A little rest is good enough." Chen sat down next to me, "You slept for three hours and didn't wake up, so I got worried." I took his hand and placed it on my lap, "Jongdae ssi, don't be... just... I've been depressed lately. Now, after this dream I had, I'm fully awake. I won't be depressed anymore." Chen rested himself on my shoulder, "That's good to hear... I don't like seeing you sad, I don't remember you being sad in the past, just happy." I smiled and stroked his hair.

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