for my consideration

chapter twenty one; i'm hopelessly in love with her.

"did you like the cake we made?" she asks, smiling at me.

"it was delicious, thank you," i answer, "but i thought we were supposed to be quiet now."

"this is important," she states effortlessly, "i think this cake was better than ice cream."

"me too," i nod.

"you had ice cream for dinner?" she asks, still staring at me and i feel Morgan doing the same.

"no," i answer, but not very confidently, i think.

"sad," Maddie shrugs.

"i can't believe i'm getting called out by a child, i'm sorry, but seriously who taught her all this?" i ask, mainly talking to Morgan and hopefully in a way that's clear i'm exaggerating. i think Maddie is absolutely incredible, honestly. i want to be her when i grow up.

"i only called you once and my dad taught me how to facetime and i'm not a child," Maddie explains, looking at me as if she didn't understand my need to question anything.

"she said called out, sweetie, that means to challenge someone, inform them about how they act, often in a harsh way," Morgan educates her niece before she goes and kisses her head and Maddie nods and gets back to watching the TV, probably determining this conversation to have taken up enough time.

"so you're the one who teaches her all this, are we sure she's not your daughter? because i swear i feel like i'm getting run over by a mini Morgan right now," i say, waiting for Morgan to come back strong, but her expression doesn't change and all she does is put her finger over her mouth, saying, "shh, quiet," and glancing at the screen while turning her head deliberately as if to get me to follow the act. i obviously do.

and so i sit there in the living room i haven't entered before, but never want to exit, watching a film made for children with someone who is one but often doesn't act like it, and an adult who makes me, another adult, behave like a helpless child.

Maddie is almost asleep when suddenly my phone that i left on the table rings and i jump up to quickly to make it stop.

"i'm so sorry," i whisper, standing there while i put my phone in silent mode.

"go take the call, Cassandra, it's fine," Morgan suggests, looking at Maddie, who's now lying in the middle of the sofa and seems to be somewhere between reality and the dream world, "i'll go get her ready to sleep."

i walk out of the room, unsure about my destination, but ending up in the hallway and stopping to lean against a wall while i dial my mum's number.

"oh hi, Cassie, you had me worried."

"hi, mum, i'm alright. how are you?"

"happy birthday, honey, are you out somewhere? i'm sorry to bother, i just wanted to check in since you haven't replied to any messages and ignored dad's calls too."

"no, i'm not out and i'm fine, thank you."

"you're alone at home tonight?" she asks.

"not really, no," i answer. i'm not sure how to phrase a proper response? i feel at home because i'm at my boss's house even when she messed me up and being in love with her is the reason why i haven't been in touch with anyone, but no, we're not dating, we don't know what we are and we're not talking about it, since a five-year-old is keeping us company.

my mum asks me a few more questions and i try to answer and listen to what she's got going on before we say goodbye and i make my way back to the living room where i find Morgan sitting down, but this time music is playing faintly and she's focused on her phone.