i find myself standing in front of a gate and a stone wall so high that i can't even see much of the house behind it, yet already feel unprepared and underdressed. it's not too late to turn back now. the move is probably to text her to let me in, right?
i made it, that is if i'm still welcome
took you long enough.
suddenly, the gate opens and i get to the driveway, unsure about where exactly to go, but soon seeing Morgan out the door and walking towards me. she has her hair down, a pair of light sweatpants with a matching sweatshirt on and i can't stop staring. i feel a tiny bit more comfortable with my sweater and jeans look.
"Cassandra," she says when she's only a few steps away, "come on in, don't just stand there."
"great to see you too, i wasn't sure if you'd want me to leave right away since you're already disturbed by me taking an hour to get here and i haven't even really got here."
"not at all, i was pointing out the fact that you spent ten minutes standing in front of the gate before you reached out," she answers, still in front of me within arms' reach, but not even trying to get in my space, "seriously though, let's go in."
"i wasn't there for minutes and how would you even know?" i ask as we walk side by side.
"there's cameras, darling, if i didn't know better and the person i was with didn't happen to be a child, i'd have asked to make a bet."
"so you were watching me like a pervert instead?"
"i probably would've lost because i genuinely didn't think you'd get to the point of telling me you got here," she says, ignoring my question, likely because the answer is yes.
we make it in and she waits for me to take my shoes off and doesn't instruct me on where to put them, so i leave them next to hers and then i stand still and look at her for a moment. is she at least half as nervous as i am?
"would you have let me turn around and go home if i hadn't texted you i was here?" i ask.
"like i said, it's your choice."
"maybe i don't want it to be, Morgan," i admit, for whatever reason choosing to get into this before we're even fully in, "for once maybe i want you to actually tell me what you want, how you feel. is that too much to ask?"
"right now i want you to follow me inside my house and we can take it one step at a time," she answers in a soft and deliberate manner, opposite to how i spoke a couple seconds ago, "is that enough, Cassie?"
"it is, thank you," i reply, walking behind her as she leads me through the spacious hallway. i don't know what to pay attention to first and end up looking around before setting my eyes on her, trying not to get overwhelmed achieving the opposite effect. i am in her space.
"we should try our best to keep it together in front of Maddie," she informs me.
"yeah, of course."
her house, or at least what i've seen of it, isn't really what i expected. i thought it would be more of a modern minimalistic style, something out of an ad for luxury living. it is very much luxurious, but somehow timeless. it reminds me of castles i've been to, though obviously they were bigger. something that colossal would be a little too far even for this woman.
"we baked you a cake," Maddie announces as soon as we make it into the living room and she jumps up from the sofa to run to me.
"hi, Maddie," i say when she hugs me.
"do you want to see the cake?" Maddie asks, looking up at me.
"uhm, yeah sure, but i didn't need it. i mean i didn't even bring anything, sorry."
BINABASA MO ANG
for my consideration
Romancenothing in my life has ever been mine, any of my choices, my favourite things, the people i've been with, my body that somehow seems to belong to someone else, anyone else. it's all my fault though, i was meant to fight it, i never should've let mys...
