"why did you share all of this with me?" i finally ask, now sitting down and holding eye contact with Morgan as i lick my lips to remove any traces of the wine after leaving the glass in front of me empty.
"do you want me to share more than one glass with you?"
"stop it, Morgan, let's talk to each other. why did you tell me about your past? if it was your past and not something you made up, that is."
"it was the truth," she replies, taking the last sip from her glass and instantly pouring each of us another one, "and i told you because you keep saying that we don't know each other and i figured if i shared something personal, you'd understand that it's not the case, or i don't want it to be in the long run, and you'd also be honest with me."
"i try to be regardless of anything you do," i answer and reach for one one of the common honesty catalysts that's on the table in front of me waiting for me to drink it.
"do you always wear your hair down?"
"mostly yes," i say, automatically running my fingers on the sides of my head as if i were about to tie my hair up, but then i drop it, "i just don't think it's something that suits me, i guess."
"i think it would look nice."
"thanks."
"i like your hair any way i've ever seen it," i admit. not quite original, but definitely honest.
she suddenly stands up and sits down next to me, continuing to stare at my face as her hand slowly moves to my cheek and i instinctively close my eyes.
"who did this, Cassandra?" she asks, her voice matching her touch, soft and warm.
"no one," i answer as i get out a shaky breath.
"you're lying," she states, and tears fall down the sides of my face likely removing the amount of makeup that didn't come off earlier as a result of my stupidity and so many wrong turns taken i now recognise as such. in hindsight without having to look in the rear-view mirror to see the damage i can no longer stop, i know it was a mistake to lie down with my cheek on the pillow, to put my hair away from my face, to stay when i should have left. this situation could have been easily prevented.
"i did it."
"look at me and say that again," Morgan instructs me, which makes me open my eyes while simultaneously grabbing her hand and putting it away from my face.
"i did it to myself," i say so quietly and slowly that it's almost a non-audible whisper, and my voice breaks with the last word, how fitting. i open my mouth to repeat my statement attempting to sound more sincere, but the words are stuck in my throat and suddenly i feel Morgan's hand back on my face, this time wiping my tears and her thumb moving to rest over my mouth likely to stop me from telling more lies.
"those aren't your words. someone put them in your mouth to take the blame off themselves, so i'll ask you again, who hit you?"
"no one hit me."
"stop lying to me," she instructs, her dark eyes suddenly full of emotion, but i can't really recognise which one. she's probably angry at me for not being honest.
"it's all over now, this was the breaking point."
"and how many breaking points were there before this one?"
her tone is sharp, almost scolding. i know she means well, deep down i do, yet it doesn't affect how i feel inside.
"please get your hands off me," i cry out and she instantly lays both her hands, that were holding my face, into her lap. i feel the urge to kiss her, although, i assume that's mainly due to the wine i drank and the fact that this conversation is way too uncomfortable and it would be a desirable distraction.
VOUS LISEZ
for my consideration
Roman d'amournothing in my life has ever been mine, any of my choices, my favourite things, the people i've been with, my body that somehow seems to belong to someone else, anyone else. it's all my fault though, i was meant to fight it, i never should've let mys...
