for my consideration

chapter twenty one; i'm hopelessly in love with her.

i'm so unprepared.

"we have everything," she answers and shrugs, walking to where i assume the kitchen to be, so i follow.

"sorry, she's too excited, and you didn't have to bring anything, obviously," Morgan says quietly as she walks by my side, briefly putting her hand on my lower back, moving away as soon as i shiver a little and take a step further from her.

"i'm sorry," she repeats. i smile faintly and shake my head to show her that it's okay because i know that i couldn't speak these words. maybe this was all a mistake. it's always going to be if we keep tiptoeing around each other.

we end up back in the living room, all three of us, each with a piece of chocolate cake and the film finally on, Maddie sitting on the sofa between me and Morgan.

"you don't have your glasses on," Morgan suddenly points out and our eyes meet, while Maddie is focused on the TV and her sweet treat.

"i don't wear them much."

"you have contacts?" Morgan asks.

"no, i just don't really do anything," i shrug.

"wait, did i get that right? you refuse to see most of the time?"

"my eyesight isn't that bad so it's not like i'm blind, sometimes things in the distance are slightly blurry, that's all."

"well, in case it's too far for you, the TV is right over there," she says, still speaking in a soft tone and with the corners of her mouth moving up a little as she points to the massive screen in front of us that somehow doesn't seem to be what i yearn to have close and right in front of my eyes at the moment.

"thank you, hopefully i won't miss out on too much if my eyes fail me."

"it's outrageous to come watch a film and not bother doing what you can to be able to do so," she sighs dramatically, and even though i'm no longer looking at her, i know that now she is smiling. i hear it in her voice.

"yay, Cassie, now you can come over again to watch it another time, that was a great idea," Maddie suddenly joins in. how was she even keeping up with the conversation?

me and Morgan exchange a surprised but somewhat amused look and before i manage to defend myself, Maddie speaks again, still not even turning to us and continuing to sit with her legs down from the sofa.

"but now you two should focus and not talk because Cassie needs to listen if she can't see."

"did Maddie get a degree from the Morgan Carter school of roasting me?" i ask in disbelief and choose to turn to finishing the last piece of cake on my plate, feeling absolutely defeated by the verbal attack aimed at me by a little girl. i can't believe this.

the cake was really good. i'm afraid it's one of the best things i've ever had, something more even. i'm worried that i'll never taste anything this delicious because Morgan was the one who put the effort in, for me, and i'm eating it in these conditions and feeling happy.

"she's only just signed up for the course, but i feel like she'll soon earn enough credit to be a professor herself," Morgan says, as i glance at her to see if her portion is finished so i could take her plate while i get up to put mine away on the table. unfortunately, what's in my view is her effortlessly and slowly licking the fork and not even noticing my eyes on her. worse, she probably knows i'm watching and she's doing it on purpose. i fucking hate her. wrong, i hate that i'm not fucking her, i can admit that to myself now. oh my god, her niece us literally right here. i need to drown out these thoughts and breathe.

i get up and quietly place the plate on the table, looking back and seeing Morgan extend her hand with her dish and the fork that looks as if it was straight out of the dishwasher laid on it. it was cleaned with her own tongue. i take it from her without a word and she mouths 'thank you' as i put it down and get back on the sofa, Maddie suddenly turning around from the screen.