Broken Generation (Sequel to Don't Go)

Chapter 3

"Why did you do this to me?" I moaned out softly, tears still on my cheeks as I slid into the bed.

"In the long run it's amazing" he responded, half asleep. I wanted to strangle him but the anger was snuffed out by a sense of exhaustion.

** Josh's P.O.V. **

I sat in the living room, staring at the TV. Steven Universe was currently playing, but I wasn't watching. I was too busy worrying about a certain someone.

Maybe that someone being Crimson. She had disappeared after dinner, saying she was going to work her night shift at her new job. She never did tell me what her job was. Probably some job at McDonalds or something- that would make sense for why she wouldn't tell me her job. She would probably find something like that shameful.

"And Steven!" The sound came from the TV, shocking me back to the real world. I blinked and stared at the TV, quickly going back into my thoughts again. Crimson had been disappearing every night ever since she got whatever job it was, two weeks ago. Every night she had come home around midnight, but now it was two and she still wasn't back. I looked over at my phone and picked it up, dialing her number into the phone and holding it up to my ear. It rang three times before she answered.

"Hello?" Something was wrong.

"What's wrong babe? Are you okay? Do I need to come pick you up?!" She coughed, and since it sounded faint I assumed she held the phone away from her mouth.

"No Josh- one of my co-workers had most likely gotten me sick, I'm crashing at Cassidy's house." She said, and I calmed down.

"Alright, I'm going to head to be now. Goodnight." I said, and I could hear her smile through the phone.

"Goodnight man-whore." She joked, and I scoffed.

"Watch it slut." I said jokingly. She lightly laughed.

"Bye." She said before hanging up. I hung up the phone and set it back on the nightstand, closing my eyes and getting comfortable on the couch. I quickly drifted off to sleep, Steven Universe substituting as background noise.

**Crimson's P.O.V**

The phone clattered to the ground and I stared up at the ceiling, heart aching in pain as I did so.

"Who's Josh?" Brendon asked softly, and I looked over at him, blinking slowly.

"My fiancé." I said softly, and I could hear him cringe.

"He doesn't know you're doing this, does he?" He said and I felt my heart being crushed.

"No." My voice was below a whisper, like a wisp of wind that was trying to catch up with the other winds. A hand grabbed my left hand and despite what was happening I clutched it tightly, feeling him squeeze back.

"You're my idol." I said after some time of silence, and he bitterly laughed.

"Even after all the bullshit I put you through?" He asked softly, and I was nodding to his question, my thumb drawing small circles around on the back of his hand. It was silent.

"Yea." I said, a bittersweet smile gracing my face as I looked up at the ceiling. It really was plain, some plaster falling and overall it didn't look like the club took care of it much.

It's not like people actually watch the ceiling when having sex anyways... so I guess it doesn't matter.

"Seem's like you're in a rut." He said, and I let out a bittersweet laugh that echoed my smile from earlier and echoing his bitter laugh.

"You have no idea... but i'm strong. I'll make it... I'm stronger than most things, I'll be able to handle anything thrown at me... you'll see, just you wait. I'll overcome this horrendous drug." I choked on the words, and Brendon seemed to be smiling, I didn't have to see him to know.

"Good luck, I don't think you know how many times I've heard that." He said, the words carving deep into my soul. I wanted to die. I wanted to strangle myself till I turned blue and even then I wouldn't want to stop. Josh didn't deserve someone like me, he deserved someone truly honest. I wanted to cut my throat open, I wanted to watch my blood spill across the marble floors and I wanted to look myself in the eye and see just how much of a fuck up I was.

"Crimson." Someone was gripping my arm tightly, as if I was a life-line.

"I want to see my blood mar the floor." I whispered, and the grip grew stronger.

"You're not fighting it Crimson. I thought you said that you could fight it. I thought you said you were strong." Brendon said and I could feel my hair billowed on the pillow, sort of like a halo. I imagined I looked like an angel who had fallen so far from heaven.

"I want to look myself in the eye and see just how fucking much fall I've fallen. I want to see how pathetic I've become." I moaned out softly, closing my eyes.

"I don't want that... Josh wouldn't want that... your friends, or mom, or dad, or anyone close to you for that matter." Brendon said softly.

"Your other idols wouldn't want that. They would want you to be happy, and to love yourself." His words were muffled as I closed my eyes. He was right, even though I didn't want him to be. There was some banging on door, and I recognized it as the managers pattern.

"Hey! Crimson! You okay in there?" I sat up, my hair cascading down my shoulders.

"Busy right now boss, I'm taken for the rest of the night. Have Scarlet work for me." I said. There was a grunt and the footsteps I never heard arrived left.

I rested my head back on the bed and let out a long sigh, for some reason I searched around for Brendon. I hated him, but it felt like he was the only life line I had.

"You're right... they wouldn't want it."

** I hope you guys liked the chapter. Crimson felt weird writing this chapter, and she was worried she didn't have it all done right xD But other than that she actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and she can't wait to write future chapters. Also, That's The Spirit finally came out today :D <3  Anyways, In the next chapter something very important will happen so please bare with me. Feel free to give me any kind of advice. **