The book of snippets

Two birds

There is anger, so much anger, cause how dare he? How dare Nanko do this? But there is also overwhelming relief crashing against his chest.

The doctors say he got lucky, they don't even admit him. Just a few scrapes and two broken bones, it's bad but against what would have probably resulted in de-... yeah it's not that bad.

Except Abir's heart is still in his throat. Because he was the one who found Kunal. He knows what he saw and what he thought. No one else would understand.

After all the anger, cause he can't take Kunal doing anything remotely like this again, all the scolding and the promises...

Abir sleeps beside Kunal's bed that night. Because he wasn't not afraid yet.

5.

Abir knows he let his emotions flow. Knows what maa was saying wasn't what Nanko was saying, what he said was right, but this wasn't the right time and he knows that.

Kunal was 22 for lord's sake and he's already had his heart broken twice.

Only to come home to see his mother and brother at loggerheads and Abir saying that what he was feeling was just cause of his ego.

Even the most open person in the world would hurt for a while before coming to terms with it. His nanko was guarded and he needed that time, except Abir denied it.

So, that night like so many other nights, he went to Kunal's room. To apologise for now, give him that time.

Except Kunal was already sleeping.

His face was taut like he wasn't having a peaceful sleep at all. Abir sighed, he'd gotten used to this despite himself.

He moved to caress Kunal's head like he'd done countless other times, but then paused and curled his hand back, because he didn't want to wake Kunal up.

So, he walked around to the recliner and sat there, like he'd done so many times growing up.

He didn't know when he fell asleep but he wished he didn't because what he woke up to was just another nightmare.

+1

Abir can't stop shaking, fear pours out of him in tremors and gasps. There was no anger now, it was always just a mask, sometimes for hurt... now for fear.

Kunal is still in his arms, or maybe he's in Kunal's arms, Kunal's standing on his toes to hold him down in a hug. He's still saying sorry and it breaks out into a sob. Abir's cheeks aren't dry yet, they're wet with still flowing tears.

He doesn't really register how much time has passed before they walk to the car, Abir still has an iron grip across Kunal's shoulders. He can't let go, not yet. His breath still comes out in a gasp but it's soft and he can speak over it. Yet words fail him.

He waits until Nanko sits on the passenger side and closes his door before getting in. The first thing he does is reach out and fasten Kunal's seat belt. Then he does his own. All the while Nanko is looking straight ahead, staring at nothing.