Finding 4

ONE LAST TIME

   LEANING against the wall outside the hospital in Dublin, I kept my phone to my ear, listening to Gracie as she planned her day trip tomorrow.

"Okay, so, I'll leave here at around...seven in the morning," she happily hummed. "When's Lynch meant to be showing up?"

Great question, actually.

When Rian and Shannon had to leave around lunch today, he promised me that he would drive back up in the afternoon in my car, but it was now just after dinner time, and he still hadn't come back.

And I couldn't get through to him on the phone.

He just...vanished on me.

I knew there was a good reason why I couldn't get a hold of him.

...But a small part of me was freaking the hell out.

What if reality finally hit him once he got home, and he was now realising that he wasn't ready to be a father?

I mean, I understood it.

I was terrified to be a mother, especially at our age.

We should be worrying about graduating, not picking out baby names, and worrying about affording childcare.

Abortion or adoption were the solutions we had to our little 'situation' growing in my stomach.

But in my heart, I couldn't abort the little cell that was slowly growing into a baby in my stomach. Not after I had started making a plan.

And I could never put my child up for adoption.

My heart couldn't handle that.

"Am I in over my head here, Gracie?" I quietly asked my bestie after a long moment of silence. Chewing on my thumbnail, I glanced around the quiet, dark street that was only occupied by patients entering or leaving the hospital. "Do you really think I can raise a baby?"

"What the fuck is happening?" she blurted, and I could just picture her brows deeply furrowed with a frown on her lips. "Are you second-guessing yourself, girly? My bestie never second-guesses herself."

Tiredly sighing, I tugged on her scarf around my neck. "He hasn't shown up," I whispered, closing my eyes as a horrible feeling sank into my stomach. "Rian was supposed to be back hours ago, but he's not here and he won't answer any of my calls or texts."

She grumbled something like 'That little wank stain' under her breath before talking to me again. "I'm sure he's got a reasonable reason, babe," she assured me. "Want me to call Podge and see if maybe he's seen him?"

Was that going too far? Would Rian get annoyed if my best friend messaged his close friend about his whereabouts?

Ugh, where was he?

"No, it's okay," I mumbled, leaning my head back against the wall. "I'll wait another hour before giving Joey a call."

Yeah, that would definitely be going too far.