Pains Of The Past

Chapter 1

I shook my head slowly back and forth while looking down. “No, I need to do this and show him that I will be okay without him.” He gave me a gentle squeeze on my hand before letting me go in.

As I slowly opened the door, I could not help but notice how dark the room was. All the shades were drawn, letting in very little light. There was a petite blond nurse sitting at my father’s bedside.

“I’ll give you two sometime alone.” She got up and exited the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

I looked at my dad and barely recognized him. Since this all started, he has lost about fifty pounds, his hair has become grayer, from the salt and pepper that I am use to. His skin is pale and ashen and now when I look into his eye, I no longer see them glistening.

“Hey baby.” His voice was cracked and horse. I took the seat that the nurse previously occupied and took his cold hand.

“Hi daddy, how are you feeling today?”

He coughed and I couldn’t help but cringe at the sounds he was making. “I have had better days and I want to say this before it is too late.”

“Daddy, you don’t have to.” I tried pleading with him to not say his good-byes.

“No honey, I have to. I need to tell you that you will not have to worry about anything when I am gone. Going to Montana is just for now, while everything gets settled. You will want for nothing, I am leaving you everything.” He took a deep breath and started coughing again.

I couldn’t help the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. “Daddy, I don’t want any of it, it means nothing if you’re not there. You have to hold on daddy, I need you here.”

“Shhh Lilly, I want nothing more than to see you get married, have your children, everything, but I am not long for this world. I am going to go be with your mama and we will watch over you.

“I…” My words were interrupted by the doctor and the priest who came to give my father his last rights.

“Child, would you give us a few moments?” The priest asked as he prepared for what he was going to do.

I was not going anywhere. I’m spending as much time with my father as possible. “All due respect Father, I am staying.” There was no way I was going to be leaving his side.

The priest gave me a courteous nod and went about making my father prepared to enter into his eternal rest.

After the priest and doctor left, Hector came in and took a seat next to me. “¿Crees que va ahacer a través de la noche?” (“Do you think that he will make it through the night?”) Hector asked in a low voice.

"Los médicosnotienen esperanzasy quiereira mamá". (“The doctors are not hopeful and he wants to go to mama.”)