The Unread Letters For John (Revised Version)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Reunited

---

I’ve spent so many nights convincing myself that he never truly loved me. That maybe, in the end, I was just another memory he chose to forget. I tried to move on, burying every question that used to torment me late at night—Did he love me? Did he regret letting me go? Or was it all just a test life gave me to see if I could survive heartbreak?

But I’m tired of being part of a story I no longer want to write.

--

It was just another ordinary day after class, full of noise and chatter, with the usual laughter of my friends echoing in the background. We were sharing snacks, trading jokes, living in the moment like nothing else mattered. Then, out of nowhere, a message popped up on my phone. It was from an old friend from another campus—someone I hadn’t spoken to in a while.

“Did you know John is still single?”

He typed it so casually, as if the name John no longer held weight in my world—as if it didn't once carry the gravity of everything I used to feel. I wanted to brush it off, to pretend it didn’t matter. But curiosity has a way of creeping in, even through locked doors.

“I still think… the memories you two shared had so much potential. Even after all these years, I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if you ended up together.”

He added that like it was some passing thought. But it hit deeper than I expected.

Because the truth is, I never really had John—not fully. I may have loved him, but I never truly owned his heart. I didn’t know how to respond, so I simply smiled at the message and closed the conversation. Maybe I’d reply when I got home, when the world was quieter.

Later that evening, wrapped in the silence of my room, I finally typed my response.

“He never loved me...”

That’s what I believed. That’s what I had to believe.

But his reply surprised me.

“You’re really dumb, you know that? You don’t know anything. But it’s not my place to say. You should hear it from John himself. Just… don’t expect anything. Still, the way he acts now—it’s like he regrets what happened between you two.”

His words left me stunned, numb. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved, angry, or sad. Maybe all of the above. But no matter what, one thing was clear—it was too late. I was already with someone else. I had moved on. Or at least I thought I did.

Still, those long-buried questions, the ones I tried so hard to forget, suddenly found their way back—like whispers from a past that never truly let go. Questions that once filled the silence of lonely nights... now they came with answers. Answers I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear.

I tried to ignore it. I pretended everything was fine. I had a boyfriend, even though we were falling apart. I told myself I was over John, that I was just curious. But deep down, I knew the truth: I still thought of him.

Not with longing.

But with unfinished something.

Then, days later, I finally ended things with my boyfriend.

It wasn’t just one reason—it was many. I couldn't fix something that had already broken a long time ago. The guilt, the silence, the doubt—it was all too much. I realized I couldn’t offer love when my own heart felt so lost. He deserved someone better. Someone whole.