Spaces Between Us

Chapter Twenty-Eight: 'I love him'

Brady's surgery is scheduled for 8pm on Tuesday night.

After school Aunty Mae drops me off at the hospital trying to not look sympathetic but failing miserably at it.

"I'll be here to pick you up at eight sharp."
She says as I exit the car.

"Thanks aunty Mae." I close the door and watch her drive away before walking toward the hospital.

My chest feels extremely heavy. My palms are clammy and I feel slightly light headed. I walk past the doctors and nurses in a daze. I walk past tired faces and crying children and I can't stop thinking how tonight may either make or break me.

I finally get to the front of Brady's door and take a deep breath. One that I hope will make me feel better.

But it doesn't.

Nothing can ease this pain. Nothing can take away this looming feeling of finality from me.

When I feel like I won't burst into tears, I push the door open. Guy is seated on one of the chairs, his ear buds in his ears as he watches something on his phone. He glances at me then pulls one earbud out and says, "Disclaimer, Brady requested we all act like it's a normal day and we're all gonna eat pineapple topped pizza after this."

I pause for a second then nod once. "Noted."

He plugs his ears once and stares at his screen.

I turn to look at Brady. He's hooked up to a beeping machine and IV tubes connected to his arms. My heart lurches at how fragile he looks but I try my best to not make a scene.

I pull my eyes away from all the tubes and stare at his face. Brady smiles warily at me. "He may have exaggerated that last part about the pizza."

I sit on his bed and try not to disconnect anything.
"I guessed as much." I pull a face of disgust. "Who even likes pineapples on pizza?"

Brady actually looks taken aback.
"I do."

"God, you have the weirdest taste in food." I say shaking my head.

He stares at the space between us then takes my hand and tugs me closer to himself.
"You were too far away." He mumbles. My stomach flutters. This manages to grab Guy's attention. He looks at us, gags then says. "If you guys are gonna kiss or anything, let me know so I can leave."

Brady rolls his eyes then looks at me.
"How are you?"

Scared. Sad. Anxious. Nervous.
"Still processing things." I push his over grown hair out of his face, feeling the softness of his dark hair on my fingertips.

"I should have gotten a hair cut." He says shaking his head and undoing the minor arrangement I did in the first place.

"You'll just get one after the surgery." I say hopefully. Brady doesn't respond to this. He just takes my hand once more and presses a light kiss to my knuckles, making me forget how to breathe.

"Where are your parents?"

"They said they had things to do but I'm a thousand percent sure my mom is crying her eyes out while my dad is comforting her." He shrugs like the reality of it doesn't hurt him.

"I got you something." I say quickly so I don't have to dwell too much on the image in my head of Brady's mom crying. I take my backpack off, unzip it and pull out a folded piece of paper. He collects it and examines it with furrowed brows.
"It's an official apology letter." I explain.

His hand falls onto the bed.
"This isn't necessary."
He deadpans.

"It is to me." He stares at it like it's a bomb about to blow up.