The Warmth In The Hands Of A Heartless {Lynn Gunn}

Chapter 1

Eleutheromania.

It is the desire, the crave, of freedom. The need of freedom. How do I know that? I don't even know. I like to spend time searching for the meanings of random words, it's not like I have much to do in something that can be perfectly considered a cage rather than a cabin.

Whatever I do, they watch me. They give me assignments to see my reactions. Like, they make me see pictures and study my body to understand what impact those pictures have on my brain. I was able to print a short book/list with many words that I didn't know before, they let me. They know I've got nothing to do, but it'd be a problem if any of these words caused some emotion rise up from the dark side of my heart.

I got kidnapped when I was fifteen, about an year ago. Today was my sixteenth birthday, yay. I wasn't excited at all. Actually, I never felt anything over anything, and when I did, I gained electroshock from the Surgeons. That's how I call those who kidnapped me. I don't recall the last time I was excited or happy. I wanted to get out of here now.

They might have ripped every emotion off of me, but one thing they hadn't stolen was my judgement and ability of reasoning, which both never got dizzy. They were stuck in my head luckily, and I knew damn well that this wasn't fair. Who do they think they are?

I wasn't pissed. I lost that feeling time ago. But I wanted justice to be made. Rage, happiness, sadness, joy. I remember these feelings. Well, I remember they were strong feelings, but the reminiscence of them was fading. Everything about emotions was coming to a blur, with time. I mean that I remembered how I acted when feeling them but I was starting to forget what it feels like to be overwhelmed by one of those emotions, or 'sins' as the Surgeons had often called them in my presence.

Eleutheromania... that's what I was preaching right now. That word was all I had been thinking of all morning, it was echoing through my mind, pounding like crazy. I needed freedom, I craved freedom, I wanted my emotions back. The problem was that I had no idea how to get them back...I had tried so many times to escape, in the past, and failed. They're too prepared, sneaking out of a so well controlled building like this was a suicide mission. My ponders were interrupted by an unfamiliar voice.

"Project Gunn." The voice called. 'Project Gunn', that's how they called me. I was nothing but a project to them, an experiment. My human self was being ripped out of my chest for their sake.

I lifted up my head to see a Surgeon in a white lab coat. He had gray hair and a slight beard, round glasses, thick eyebrows. He was probably forty-five or so. You start noticing a lot about people when you're stuck in a cabin and can't do anything productive, life got kind of boring the second I arrived here. At this point, the most breaking-out-of-the-routine thing that could've happened was moving to another shitty white empty cabin.

I brought my attention back to the Surgeon. I wonder how was his life out of this building, what he used to do after ruining a person's life. Going home every night leaving all the guilt behind. He had a wedding ring on his finger, so he was married. I see how it is, he would go home being greeted by a wife that maybe is also a Surgeon monster like him, or maybe she was completely clueless about it. And who knows, maybe a kid, or two, or more.

How does it feel to lie to all your loved ones? That's one question I would like to ask him. Or even better, how does it feel to work so hard on a project based off destroying a stranger's life and keeping everything hidden from your family, and also not having the time to grow your children?

"Project Gunn." He called again, seeing that I didn't reply.

"My name is Lyndsey. Hello there." I said, sassily. He clenched his jaw and pulled out a taser, I was about to jolt a little but that would mean showing emotion. That would've meant showing fear. The fear in me was very low, almost inexistent, I was kind of used to the taser.