I have 5 kids and the oldest is 9, im 17.

chapter 6.

I woke at 7 on Tuesday morning, the wake had ran into the night, the kids didn't get to bed till half one. The night was not a sad one, surprisingly it was a happy night. We played videos of us with Dad on the TV Set and Everyone enjoyed the night, we heard many stories from our Dads friends and family. They were happy ones, sad ones and funny ones. Our mother was often brought up by people, but we just said that she had passed a while ago. All of us children, well the older ones felt that she did not deserve to be called Mammy. She left us for a life of men and alcohol. Well that'swhat I think as why else would she have deposited two children on my door step in the middle of the night. I lay in bed for 15 minutes just thinking, of my father, the kids and today's events. I eventually got out of bed and hopped in the shower, I stood in the warmth of the shower for a long time, just letting the hot water water collide with my olive skin, I closed my eyes and let the hot water envelope my body. After sometime i left the warmth of the shower and padded quietly across to my bedroom, I opened the door of my fathers room, he was lying peacefully in his bed, like he was the night before at the wake. He was just sleeping, well it looked like that. His warm body was now, a pale shade of grey. He was cold to touch but all i thought was happy memories. He was dressed in his good suit, the one that only came out for special celebrations, such as weddings or other church occasions. The last time i saw this suit was 7 moths ago at the funeral of my friend Gabby. I remember leaving the house with my father and Tom to attend the funeral of my best friend. My father pulled me into a hug as we arrived to the church and i just remember his smell, a sweet smell, but with a tint of the farm off him, I suppose 45 Years off his life were spent farming. He was a wonderful man, hardworking, loving..I pulled out of this trance and left the room, I quietly closed the door and walked into my room, I looked into my wardrobe and pulled out my new dress and tights, I then choose underwear and a bra to put on. As quick as I could I dressed myself in my Underwear and Bra, I looked at myself in the mirror. I noticed that my hips were becoming evident and that my body had no shape, I could see the ribs under my chest. As a child i was a good size,I would want to be I helped on the farm with the boys and ate dinner like they did, that all changed when our mothers income was gone, when she left and I had to ration the food to feed the kids. I was pulling on my tights when Matt came through the door, I just froze and looked at him. He froze and was staring at me. He then shook himself from the scene and blushed a deep crimson colour  and looked at the floor, he told me that he was coming to tell me that he had to go home and he would meet me at the church at 12, the funeral was at half twelve. By then i had grabbed my duvet and was sitting on my bed. He glanced at me and was leaving the room, but i called him over, he slowly came over to me, he sat down beside me. I looked at his lips as he tried to find something to say, I couldn't help myself and I kissed his soft pink lips. I could feel him smiling as I pulled away, I looked at him and said, "okay then i'll talk to you later". He looked at me smiled and left the room. I collapsed on the bed and thought to myself what did i do, my fathers funeral is today.I quickly dressed in my black dress and started to dry my hair, it was now far below my shoulders i pulled out the hair straightener and curled it in tame curls not my natural unruly hair. I then put on a base of foundation, that i had bought on Saturday. It was a cheap brand that i found in the supermarket. I then applied mascara and eyeliner and attempted the smokey eye look, I aimed not to cry today. I brushed my cheeks with blusher and painted my lips in a pink coloured lip-gloss. I then went to the cot and lifted a smiling baby from the cot. I quickly washed her and dressed her in a baby-grow, nappy and her new tights and a black dress with a small daisy on the pocket of it. I then picked up her new boots and placed them on her hip. She looked gorgeous, but I wished she had a brighter colour on her. I took a warm pink hat and gloves from her clothes hamper and put them in a bag for later, I grabbed her carry seat and put a warm blanket in it, I grabbed her diaper bag and ran down the stairs with her on my hip. Leaving her things at the front door for later, I went into the kitchen and began making porridge, placing Gabby in her high chair I put a small bowl ofporrdige infront of her, She savaged it down and looked for more, i laughed and filled another bowl for her, she quickly ate that too so i gave her some chopped fruit, I put the porridge in differentbowls and left them by the fridge. I then proceeded to take food from the freezer and left the to thaw! I went into the dining room and started to dust and clean and clear the table for food. It was a large room and was only used a few times a year. I opened the windows to ventilate the room and closed the large double doors. I then glanced at the clock and just as i leapt up the stairs to wake the little uns, the door rang, I opened it to see the funeral director there, he asked me if he could take the body and bring it to prepare him for the funeral. I showed him upstairs and he along with two men took the body of my father to the herse outside. I realised that this was the last time my father would be going through this house, It clicked with me now that he was gone for ever. I felt myself about to cry but shook it off and ran upstairs to clal the kids,  I placed the new clothes on the end of Bennys bed and asked him to take a shower, "After your shower, you must get your breakfast its by the fridge, then feed the dogs and cats, I want you to then sweep down the yard and your done ok?" After a few complaints, he leapt out of bed, and walked to the shower, with a few mumbles I then went into the attic to call the two girls, I woke them up and talked to them for a few minutes, when i heard the bathroom door open, I ushered Sheila to the bathroom to take her shower. I then organised the girls clothes for the day and once Sheila was done, I asked Cáitlin to take hers. While she was showering i helped button up a balck plaid dress and i gave her white tights to wear! On the front of the dress was a a big red bow,under the dress she wore a white long sleeved top and then I grabbed her new boots, suede black boots. I plaited her long hair at the back and just as i was tying the bobbin, Cáitlin came up the stairs dripping wet, I quickly dressed her in the same clothes and plaited her hair the same way with just her fringe hanging down at the front. I took out Their new red coats and a hat and gloves for them, They looked so pretty, Daddyslittle angels. " Now listen here ladies, i want you to bring your coats and gloves and hats downstairs leave them by the door, i then want you to have your breakfast, its beside the fridge and i want you to eat it quickly, then clean up all the kids toys and close the windows in the dining room, i want you to lay out the food on the table and then clean your bedroom and the toy room ok?" Ireceived two nodding heads as a reply and rushed to get Aaron ready, I quickly pulled his new pair of jeans on him and dressed him in a blue little shirt and a little jacket, i then grabbed his hat and gloves and coat and after putting on his boots i carried him downstairs leaving his warm clothes at the door. I then walked briskly to the kitchen and saw the girls eating their breakfast, I then sat Aaron in his chair with a bowl of porridge and left him to eat, I went into the utility with the kids pjs and saw Benny pulling on his wellies. Beside his feet lay his new boots but they were filthy, I groaned and picked them up placing them on the counter to clean them, "i'm sorry mammy i forgot" he sighed. I looked at him and told him he was ok! He looked smart in his new blue shirt and good jeans they were dark in colour i couldn't help but forgive him, and pulled im into a hug. At half 11, i ushered the children into the front room after locking up the back door, Tom came down the stairs and he looked good, he had a crisp white shirt and a black trouser suit. We looked good as a family, all that was missing was our parents. I smiled weakly and we left for the church, it was 12:05 by the time we arrived at the church and there were already people starting to arrive. I sat the kids in the pews and saw Matt walk in ..He looked so dreamy .. i couldn't help but fall for him, he walked up and hugged me.. after a moment I pulled away from the hug and saw a dark haired women walking in the door with a man, they looked very dodgy, They came up towards the front of the church and as she neared us, i recognised her..