I have 5 kids and the oldest is 9, im 17.

chapter 5

Saturday dragged on,; I scrapped together pennys from around the house and my stowaway cash and headed into town, I had the child benfits that we recieved in an account so that the kids could go to college. I always kept some spare though. I raced to town and pulled out the double buggy, I placed a sleeping Gabby inside and a lively Aaron, I then asked the three older kids to hop from the car and stand in on the path. Matt went home to get some clothes and said he would meet me at the house later. It was a very solemn afternoon, and Cáitlin still refused to speak to me. We ran in and out of shops looking for outfits the children culd wear to the funeral. I ended up buying new jeans for Benny, and Aaron and dresses for Cáitlin, Sheila and Gabby. I bought the girls tights and coats and the boys shirts and coats. I also bought new boots for the boys and new shoes for the girls. I bought myself a black dress, tights and boots and A new suit jacket and trousers and white shirt for Tom, it cost me €128. We will be walking alot this month so as not to spend money on petrol. We then headed into the supermarket I realised that for the wake on monday and visitors I would need alot of food and sandwiches. I purchased 6 loaves of bread and lots of ham cheese and salads, I also purchased food for the dinner. On the way home we stopped off in the church to say a few prayers for Daddy, I left the children in the pews for a few moments and went to speak to the priest with Gabby on my hip. I  explained my money problem and he told me that the community loved my Dad and that they pooled together to pay for the coffin, he also said that the children from the older classes of the primary school would sing the hymns. I looked at him stunned and thanked him immensely. I walked back to my children and looked at their sad faces and realised that they will need a father figure, i hope Tom can do that, but now he is 24 and he is soon to move to Australia as there is nothing here for him except the farm. At Five o clock we arrived home and the children mopped into the sitting room, i could smell home baking wafting through the kitchen, I walked in to find my fathers sister and my neighbours baking cakes and casseroles. I couldn't help but smile at them and I felt my burden liften slightly when my fathers sister hugged me. Her name was Betty, she was the spit from my fathers mouth, she talked, walked and looked like him. When I realised that they had todays dinner cooked, I went to the freezer to place in the food I had bought for safe keeping, its usually empty because we never have much to eat just enough. When i looked in the freezer was jam packed with dinners, casseroles, sandwhiches, pastas, stews, soups. I took a look and each dish had a little note from people to say they were sorry for my loss and if I needed anything I knew where to go, they all had cooking instructions also. At 8 o clock the women said that they were finished and that they will have informed everyone of the funeral arrangements, so on and so forth. I went into the kitchen and saw the kids dozing on the couches and carpet. The TV was blaring. I lifted a sleeping Aaron to my bed, and tucked him in with a teddy bear, I then went down and lifted Shiela upsatirs, they were light for seven year olds, I carried her to her room then i thought that i would put them in my bed for comfort tonight all the family together,  I lifted Cáitlin up the stairs and as i lay her on the bed she ooked up at me and said "mammy i am so sorry i didnt mean to say that , love you" it was at that moment when i realised I was all they had, and my children will lead a brilliant life no matter what it took. I was coming down the stairs when I saw a figure at the door, I opened it and in walked Matt, he lifted me up and kissed me, he siad "I have been waiting for that all day" and smirked, I could feel myself falling for him so instead of kissing back again I asked him to carry Benny upstairs to my room. He did as I asked, and when he came down i was sitting in bed with my baby in my arms, she was playing with a rattle, I just thought how lucky she was to be oblivious to this. I soon rocked her to sleep and i remembered the first day she was here, I found her at half 6 in the morning, I was up early and I heard a muffled cry when i came down the stairs, I opened the door suspiciously and found a baby in a shopping basket at my door, she was still tiny, pink looked like she was a few hours old, I remember running to the doctors and he said that the tiny might was premature and only hours old, i felt so sick that she would leave anothe baby on the door step, she was a creul women. The last thing i remember was looking at a sleeping Gabby and looking up at a Sleepy Matt and eventually i conked out flat on the sofa with a sleeping Matt as my support.