RadioStation

EP. 1

NOW PLAYING: RadioStation - ep. 1 - August to October

hey.

im here just to tell you this story. our story. im Charlie.

started in the middle of august, you were waiting for your best friend Magnet to arrive at your favorite spot.

you were reading a book. a short one. you cant stand long stories.

you flip a page and a letter falls out. was it for you? was this a set up? probably not. you turn the letter around and all it says on it is 'Letter'. like that wasnt obvious.

you opened it and started reading. it was from a girl. her name was Letter.

you didnt know who she was talking to or anything. couldve been for anyone. she was looking for company. for someone to share moments with. for someone to gaze into their eyes and see a sparke.

then as you was about to look at the adress but a hand on you shoulder sent a chill through your body. you flinched and looked behind me. it was Magnet.

he had a smile on his face, like always. he was always smiling easily attracting people to his warm presance. you were never good with people.

always attracted saddness, that blue glow around you seemed to spread onto them. while Magnet always shined yellow, he spread happiness. even tho you knew he was never happy himself.

"here you are, i was looking for you" he said before looking at the letter in your hands, but you just put it away. "wanna go to the swings?"

he asked and you stood up from under the tree. you walked in silence but it was comftable enough for the both of you.

after hours of swinging and talking you get a call. you flip your phone open and answer "its late get home" says your mother and you just hum.

when you get home you see your mother on the sofa, watching tv. "hey honey its late go eat." she tells you with a smile, but it doesnt reach her eyes.

"not hungry" i mumble and run to my room, closing the door shut. you sat in your chair, taking a pen and paper before spinning around.

you reread the letter at least three times before your pen actually touched the paper.

you were up long into the darkness of the night choosing the right words, so long that you passed out.

next day you woke up paper stuck to your cheek, eyes burning from staying up too late. you reread the letter you wrote one more time. seemed fine enough. you opened your door and before your mom could call you for breakfast you ran out the front door. closing it before you could hear your mothers sigh.

it was a hot august day so you were happy you lived close to the post office. you pushed the door open entering to the sound of a bell ringing. it was full, a busy monday. you sat down on one of the empty chairs, next to an old lady.

crowded places always made you wonder about people. peoples lifes. peoples jobs. what they felt. what were they doing there where you saw them. has their heart been broken? is their heart full of love? what did that feel like.

once one of the tables freed you stood up and hurried to it. "i want to sent this letter" you say and the lady on the other side looks at you unamused. she looked a few years older. "okay" she said and slid the envelope to herself. she puts a post stamp on it and tells you how much you have to pay. you reach into your pocket for a few coins and set them on the table. as shes gathering your change you say "keep the change" and turn to leave. she mumbles a small "thank you" just loud enough to catch your ear.

over the next few weeks you keep checking your mailbox. waiting and looking for a letter back. and one day it comes. and then you sent another one. and get one back.

for once you thought you found someone who actually listened. who was actually ready to be your friend. so you decided to meet up. she lived right outside your city so you took the bus to this random cafe.

it was decent. the cafe played music youve never heard of but it wasnt annoying. soon Letter walked through the door. you smiled at her and you sat down, ordered what you always did. an orange fuzzy drink. and then attempted at small talk. not your strongest suit.

her eyes kept glancing around. as if looking for escape. but you didnt notice at first.

after a few meet ups you did. and it made you feel like you werent good enough. remember when i said you usually brought sadness, a blue glow to people? well that didnt happen with Letter. she glowed when she was with you.

why you still dont know to this day. maybe cus she didnt care about you? maybe cus she didnt care if you stayed or if you left? maybe cus she thrived off of others agony?

a few times you stopped sending letters just to see if she would sent one, if she missed you, if she cared. she never sent one. but its okay cus you kept sending them. she sent them back less and less everyday. but you werent ready to let her go, you never let people go even when they wanted to leave, even when Magnet told you to leave them you never listened. you rather suffered in silence.

then one day when you went to the store, to get art supplies for a new project of yours youve seen her. youve seen her with someone else. doing the things she did with you. holding hands. shopping. she even laughed at the other persons jokes.

but it seemed so much easier with the other person. they werent trying to make her laugh, it just happened. they werent trying to get their attention, they just did. they werent like you. they werent insecure, and unsure, and uninteresting. they werent trying desperately to capture Letter's heart. they just did.

and that made sense to you. so you went home. and cried. cried into your pillow and called your best friend. and he came over. and gave you a hug. even tho he hated hugs he gave you one.

you finally stopped senting letters. it was pointless. you missed her, but you promised Magnet not to sent any more of them. he didnt want to see you cry anymore. not cus of this one girl who he knew would be irrelevant in a month. but you didnt know that. you felt like she would matter for forever.

so you starved yourself. you didnt feel worthy of food anymore, you still dont to this day. by the end of september you only sent her a happy birthday text. she replied but she didnt remember. she didnt remember who you were and she didnt care.

and all you did through october was think of her. she thought you what heartbreak what like. she thought you what it was like when someone you wanted didnt care. you always felt like you werent good enough but she thought you that it could always be worse. 

your mother kept asking "are you okay" every time you rejected dinner again. you would always tell her you were just tired, or that you were fine before closing yourself into your room. she didnt notice the way your eyes lost sparkle or the way you put off a few pounds. she didnt notice how everyday you hated yourself more and more. she thought you were fine and you wanted to keep it that way. so you pretended to be just okay.