You And I: Sequel

Chapter Three

This will be a very long chapter!! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1:42 a.m.

I lie next to Peeta in our bed, unable to sleep. I haven't slept all night, but he has been softly snoring beside me since about 11.

Today I go to the doctors, in roughly 12 hours I will be walking into the office and I am scared to death. I'm worried about what could go wrong, just like Peeta said I was the other day. But it's true, what if something is wrong.

I mean, first off I could just not be pregnant. I'm positive I am but what if I got sick because of how nervous I was and the tests were wrong, all of them. Now Peeta thinks I am pregnant and if I'm not it will crush him. So if I'm not he may want to try for a baby and I'm not sure I want that.

Next, what if when Elijah hit my stomach he did something to the baby? It seems unlikely because of how small the baby would be, probably not even the size of a grape at this stage, but it could have. What if the baby is born with a disability?

And my greatest fear is that I am pregnant, but I am told that I have or could miscarry the baby. What if I have to give birth to a still born? What would that do to Peeta and I emotionally?

All these thoughts race through my head, and I am probably wrong on every one of them. But the mother side of my wants to protect the baby, and if it's out of my control I will feel as though I've failed as a human.

I look over at Peeta, sound asleep. His blonde hair hangs over his face and his eyes look glued shut. What if he isn't going to be a dad again?

At the thought of making him upset, it makes me begin to cry. The thought of not being able to give him what he wants the most cause tears to flow down my cheeks silently.He has given me everything I have wanted and needed to feel secure but I may not be able to give him this one thing. He never asks me of anything except this.

"Peeta?" I say, only getting a snore in return. "Peeta?" I say a little bit louder but still nothing. I let out a sigh before trying to compose myself enough to wake him up. I sit up on my side of the bed and I look at him again. Still nothing.

Unless I get a nightmare he usually sleeps through anything. Thunderstorms, if one of the kids gets sick, me getting up during the night.

"Peeta?" I say one more time. When that doesn't work, I lean over and place a lingering kiss on his lips. This usually wake him up. After a second, he wakes up and kisses me back, reaching one hand to the back of my head so I can't pull away. I try to enjoy the kiss, or at least act like it so he can enjoy it.

When I can though, I sit back up and he finally opens his eyes.

"Still looks pretty dark out." He says sleepily.

"I can't fall asleep." I say and my voice cracks. I feel more tears form in my eyes while I try to hold back a sob. Peeta notices the tears.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier? What's wrong?" He says.

"What if I'm not pregnant Peeta? Or there is something wrong with the baby?" I ask him.

"Aw, sweetheart come here." I lean over and rest my head on his chest, listening for his heart beat. If I'm pregnant, I'm at least 5 weeks. And at 5 weeks a baby has a heartbeat. I wonder if the baby's heart is beating inside of me now.

"Katniss, We can't let our hearts be troubled and we have no reason to fear." He says.

"We have plenty to fear." I say.

"We really don't. We are sitting well financially, the baby will be beautiful as long as she looks like you, and we are going to raise her the right way, most kids aren't that lucky."