My Personal Diary; My life.

15 entry's and 3 A/N's.

July 9, 2010:

So far I know I'm having fun doing what I'm doing with Connor and I'm not about to stop anytime soon. But Brandon really likes me and I don't want to hurt him although he's my best friend and shouldn't like me anyways. Zach's too jealous and tries to hard to make me jealous or else he'd be prefect besides the fact he's almost 18. Ian is my "talk dirty buddie" Although he rarely talks to me anymore and I have no idea why. Maliki still loves me and blows up my phone when I attempted to ignore him so I still talk to him for that reason. I told him I don't love him anymore. There's just too many guys in my life to "Love". As if I even know what that is.. Matt's done talking to me. For good this time. Oh well I'm better off without him. It's been 3 years! My hand is going numb and turning the same color as this pen so I'm done for now.

A/N; the pen was pink;D

July 11, 2010:

Lately me and Brandon have been talking a lot more about being 'together'. Like as a couple, and he agreed to hang ASAP when he gets back from Silver Lake! I  can admit that I'm excited, but I'm also a little sad, I was let down today by Connor. He went camping with his family! HE failed to tell me the night we did shit, but he told me yesterday. This morning I texted him and asked whats up.. He replied with 'going to hangout with a girl from my campground.' I don't think I like him, but that hurt because I do want what we have going on to continue! I love being sexual with him, it makes us closer on a whole nother level. But he's getting really distant and shit. I asked him what he was thinking about and he said 'Music, Hair cut, Whore, and food." Whore is a girl from where he's going to school next year. He didn't do anything with the camp girl.. Thank god! But now there's clearly something wrong with him and he won't talk to me. He says I'm going to hurt him. He never gets close to girls, I have noticed that. But seriously, I'm supposed to be his best friend, come on! I need him to trust me!

Maybe I do like him... I don't know!

A/N; Whore is obviously not her real name, I didn't wanna make up yet another name so I got creative;D

July 16, 2010:

So here's what went down, me and Connor decided he likes Whore and that's where his hearts at so that's where he needs to be physically and emotionally. Kenny! Such a great guy with such a great heart! (more about him later) Me and Matt are REALLY done, I haven't talked to him and have no idea whats going on with him. Although his MySpace stuff is still the same. Although I really just need to leave him alone, I know that. Maliki and I have (sadly) had a 'falling out' and I blame it completely on Elenore! What a great best friend she is! Whatever if he wants a girl that looks like Kermit he can have her. I know she still loves him, ad I know she's obsessed with him. She's a two-faced physco bitch and I have come to realize that within the last few days.. I've also had a really bad case of 'don't know whatcha got til it's gone' Oh well. There's more fish in the sea. Maybe it is time to move on. I mean it looks like he clearly is, what with D and Elenore, and who knows who else. I'm done being played. God never thought I'd say that... The book I'm currently reading is called Dear John, but Nicholos Sparks! He's such a great writer and I love this book although it makes me cry! Zach is still as big of a dick as ever but I'm glad to report me and his sister are getting closer(:

July 16, 2010: 

I don't really know why I'm writing. But I know I need to. I think I really like Kenny, and I don't want to hurt. But I know there's no easy way of telling him, I just don't want anything to change between us. I don't wanna loose a good friend. I'm going to check my Facebook and finish this movie and do some thinking. I'll see what my head tells me to do, because everyone knows I listen to my head better than my heart!