When The Snow Falls

7

Nathan stretched above his head and yawned as Nikki lead him to the cave off to the side of the clearing. The sun was setting low in the sky. 

"Well we can't let you go back now, the forest is very dangerous at night, even for a full wolf pack." She lead him to the back of the cave and laid out a fur for him to lay on. "We'll sleep in shifts and keep an eye out." She smiled as he laid down and she shifted into her chestnut wolf form. Nikki barked at the other wolves. Three of them curled up near Nathan while Nikki lead the rest of them to the mouth of the cave to guard it.

He coughed, his chest heaving in an attempt to dislodge whatever was stuck in his lungs. He moved to his hands and knees, still coughing and heaving. the ground was soaked in blood, the air was lit with sparks and alive with electricity. His eyes darted to the right. The forest beside him was in flames, the large Colorado trees being devoured by flames. The smoke billowed up to join the rumbling storm clouds above the entire area. Purple lightning jumped from cloud to cloud, lacing each one with it's wrong, purple light. He looked to the left to see a hump of brown fur, matted with blood. He yelled out to her, to his friend. Nothing. He got up, still coughing and ran to her. He had both hands on her furry side, his head lowed to her chest. There was no wheeze of breath, no thump of a head, not even the gurgle of her other organs. He wiped at the thing dripping down his face. He shook her, begging her to get up. He dimly noticed his heads, smeared with blood, dirt, and tears. He cried harder, his friend seemingly beyond help.

"You did this!" He yelled towards the mountain behind him. "This is all your fault! I did what you said and now she's dead!" He collapsed. "She's dead." He whispered and pressed his forehead to her chest.

Nathan bolted up from his sleep in a cold sweat. The two wolves near him raised their heads in concern. He patted one and sighed. Just a dream, He thought. Then what about the other dream? The other dreams had bits of truth so this one might hav- no. He refused to think that. He stared at Nicole's furred back. She can't die, she's too strong.  He stood and walked out to sit beside Nikki. The brown wolf was staring into the star scattered sky. The moon was almost full, looking somewhat like an egg. 

"What's up with you?" He asked after a tense moment of silence. She sighed after another moment and shifted, her knees pressed to her chest. 

"I just got word that one of my friends is dead." Nathan pulled back a little, looking at her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were puffy. She's been crying. He draped an arm across her shoulders and pulled her into a slightly awkward side hug. She sniffed.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She paused and took a shaky breath, seemingly deciding to talk. 

"You already know who she was. Well, you knew one side of her, that is." She looked up at the egg shaped moon again. "She would've liked meeting you in person. The dream world just isn't the same." Nathan looked at her again.

"You mean," Nikki nodded. 

"Snow." Her voice was almost inaudible. He hugged her tighter, knowing now how much this must hurt. He had felt loss before, his best friend had killed herself while he watched hopelessly. 

It had been just after the end of the first semester and her grades were failing. Nathan knew it was because she wasn't turning in homework. Night was when the demons crawled back into her mind and the blade was almost always in her hand. Surviving the night was the only thing on her mind, not school. Her parents didn't understand that. They took her phone, her tablet, even her computer. She had no way to talk to Nathan but he made a plan to make it better. He snuck out of the house the night after the report cards went home. That asshole that hurt her was first. He had his step mom's car keys and he slowly pushed her car to a place safe to start it. The key turned and for a second, he was afraid it wouldn't start. It purred to life, the battery power making it almost silent. He drove to his house and parked on the other side of the street. He pulled the carton out of the back seat and left the car. Egging a house seemed so childish to him but he decided it was for a childish dick so he'd forgive himself. He egged the house and, feeling mid evil, salted the flower beds in front of the house and the trees. He flipped off the house once for good measure and got back in the car. He then drove to her house. He again parked across the street but this time he went around the side. The gate was locked. He cursed her father before scrambling over it. Her light was still on, he knew it would be. She was always up all night, sleeping through class. He grabbed a few tiny pebbles from the rock garden and threw five at her window. That was how she knew it was him. She pushed up the window after a moment, just to be sure. Even looking into her upstairs bedroom from the ground, he knew she had been cutting and crying. She nodded silently and her face disappeared from the window. A moment later, the back door clicked and opened to the dark, silent house. He walked in and locked the door behind him. She wasn't there to great him. She had already walked back up to her room. He almost ran up the carpeted stairs, skipping steps along the way. The bathroom light was on and he could hear her in there sobbing and blowing her nose. He went to her bedroom, looking to see if she was safe. There was a bloody razor blade on her nightstand and a scrawled note. He quickly read it before running into the bathroom. 

"What did you take?" He whisper yelled at her. Her eyes widened and she couldn't meet his gaze. "Tell me what you take or god help me,"
"Acetaminophen." She whispered. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug, feeling tears flood down his face. He placed his hands on either side of her face and made her look at him.

"You have to throw them up."

"What?"

"Puke, barf, throw up, make sick. You have to get them out."

"N-no. I don't want to throw them up." More tears fell from her eyes and that was when he knew his favorite eye color. "I don't want to live anymore, Nathan. I'm so so tired." Nathan shook his head and pulled her back against his chest.  He held her head still with one had and forced his fingers down her throat with the other. She struggled and thrashed about, trying more then anything to die. He could feel the tears on her face and he continued until she threw up. Then again. He made her throw up four times, seeing the pills finally disappear after the fourth time. She sobbed on the floor of the bathroom, her knees to her chest and her matted hair covering her face and that was when he knew his favorite hair color. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, making her sit on the edge of the tub. He wet a wash cloth with warm water and rubbed the bile from around her mouth. He then wiped her eyes and untangled her hair. She sat there silently, not moving, hardly breathing. He walked her into her room and onto the bed. He pulled her ruined shirt off and replaced it with a soft clean one. She laid down on her bed and he tucked her in. He lightly kissed her forehead and got up to leave when she grabbed the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Don't go. Stay." She whispered. "Please." It only took a moment for him to decide to stay. He climbed over her to lay behind her over the blankets.

The sun was up when he woke up in an empty bed. He slowly sat up and looked around. He was still in her house. Still in her room. Nothing had moved since he had fallen asleep. The pill bottle was still open on her nightstand beside the bloody spot except now the blade was gone. Her room even smelled the same, like her lotion. He stood up and walked out of her room to see the bathroom door closed. Nathan knocked on the door lightly.

"You in there?" He called quietly. No answer. He shrugged. Maybe he closed it on the way out last night without remembering. He walked through her house, checking every room. She wasn't anywhere to be found. He walked back up to her room thinking she was just in her room. On the way past the bathroom, he heard something. He wasn't sure what it was but he knew it was something. He knocked on the door again and called her name. His mind connected the pieces. Missing blade, locked bathroom, her being depressed and MIA. He jiggled the door knob and pushed on it. It wouldn't open. He knew her house though. He picked up the key from the light scone behind him and unlocked the door. She had planned for that too. There was a pile of dirty towels in front of the door. He stuck his head through the gap and saw it. The tub was filled with blood. Bright red blood. His heart hammered in his chest as he forced he door open. Her head was under the water, her hair floating around it. He yanked her out of the water, sobbing and screaming for her to get up. Screaming her name. He was nearly blinded by his tears and could see the deep, long vertical scars on her arms. She wasn't breathing and the water was cold. Her body was cold. Her wounds had stopped bleeding. She was dead. Gone. Nathan knew it was his fault. He was right there in the room down the hall. He was right beside her. He was right there. And he did nothing. He was useless.