The Way Merlin's Mind Works

Breakdown

Thank you to everyone that has been commenting on previous chapters and other stories, it brings a smile to my face when I see that, "oh look, someone read my story and decided to comment, sweet!!" Thank you all so very much, literally the comments are some of my favorite things to look forward when uploading a new chapter.
Thank you all so very much. 😄

The men didn't move for another day and another night, watching in silence as Gaius checked Merlin's wound, changed his bandaged and poured some broth as well as some potions down the servants throat, with help from the men that sat about, Arthur holding Merlin, the Ravens back pressed flush against the Kings chest, the king massaging the Ravens throat so he doesn't choke on the broth and potions regularly being poured down the Ravens unconscious throat.
On the second day, the Raven began to stir. Mumbling in the back of his throat on a basis, making an odd noise every few hours, mumbles and grunts.

On the third day, the Ravens eyes opened wide. His eyes opened during mid day, when the men were beginning to doze off, after staying awake after three days with no sleep. Elyan, as well as Leon and Percival were sat at one of the table that sat inside the physicians chambers, Elyan and Percival leaning against one another while Leon had his head resting on folded arms, his head resting in the table with his eyes barely open. Arthur, Gwaine and Lancelot sat next to Merlin, Lancelot and Gwaine sat on one side of Merlin's cot while Arthur sat on the other, his back to his knights that sat at the table. When Merlin woke up, he woke up slowly, his eyes fluttering open slowly, followed by a shallow groan that echoed in the back of Merlin's throat.

Merlin looked about feverishly as he came back to lucidity and consciousness, his eyes widening as he did so. He obviously didn't have the strength to lift his body off the cot he had been laid upon, so he quickly looked around, eyes locking with everyone's, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, Elyan and finally Arthur. Merlin seemed nervous, though the men weren't fully certain as to why, though they had an idea.

Merlin, at sudden, believed he had enough strength to move about, as he tries to lift himself up off of the cot, only to be met by protesting from all of the men in the room, everyone bolting to their feet with a hand outstretched, an collective outcry of,
"No!" Merlin seemed startled back to the cot, his eyes widened as if he expected a blade to come swinging for his neck. He swallowed harshly, his Adam's apple bobbing harshly as he jerked away, as a hand suddenly reached for his shoulder, only to be met by the incredibly worried eyes of Gwaine.
Merlin turned and closed his eyes, obviously focusing on calming his breathing, he inhaled through his nose, holding the breath for multiple seconds before exhaling his breath through his mouth. After several breaths, his reopened his eyes shakily before looking around shakily, speaking carefully, his voice barely a whisper.

"You lot read my journal, didn't you? You lot know everything now, don't you.? My magic, my memories.. Everything." Gwaine nodded and Merlin exhaled shakily, before he spoke again, his voice cracking with every word,
"I-Im sorry-" his voice cracked and broke, causing the Raven to clear his throat before he continued talking,
"I'm sorry you all had to see the hell that lives in my head." All the men were shocked, that Merlin was apologizing for their snooping, for them finding out the multiple hells Merlin had lived with and still will, as future comes.
A few tears, they looked like pearls almost, slid down the Ravens overly prominent cheekbones, dripping down onto the thin blanket that had been laid to rest on Merlin as he was laying unconscious, small pearl stains resting on the blankets, darkening the fabric.
Merlin seemed to choke on his breath, more and more silver pearls sliding down his cheeks, everyone's hearts shattering with every drop hitting the blanket. Lancelot stood slightly, dropping back onto the cot, only to pull Merlin into a hug, the Knights arms wrapping around the Ravens upper torso, a protective surrounding as if. The Raven seemed to sense this attempt at comfort, as he broke down, his shoulders shaking and his sobs muffled weakly by the Knights shoulder and chest, the men all knew at a moment.
The sobs weren't just from the men finding out about the journal and his magic, as they were aware that Merlin had been born with his magic, he was sobbing over years and years of looking over his shoulders, the fear and the pain of everything that had happened over the years, the memories, everything.
He was sobbing and breaking over years of pain and sadness, of a painful and deadly future filled with anger and fighting, filled with bruises and scars.

The wall had broken and everything was free.

As the men realized this, they all stood carefully and slowly, not making too much noise as they did so. They all stepped forward, forming a small circle around the young Raven and the knight, they all reached forward and rested their hands on Merlin's shaking shoulders, his sobbing and shaking frame. They also noticed that the Raven was muttering between his sobs,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." the muttering continued on as the boy sobbed.

The Raven froze slightly as they realized what was happening, the men had their hands on the Ravens sobbing frame, which only allowed the dam to break away even more so, more sobs ripping themselves from the Ravens throat, shaking frames and shaking ribs, a shattered heart mending, healing.
The men bowed their heads in this thought, eventually they all dropped to their knees, their hands on their still resting on Merlin's shaking frame, their hands silently showing their understanding, their acceptance, their love for the little Raven boy, and the fact that nothing would ever rip them away from the little Ravens heart, they would never thrown him from their home, that he would always be their little Raven boy.

After what seemed like a small eternity, the Raven stopped shaking and his breathing had evened out as regularly as possible, the men stood again and Lancelot pulled away slightly, taking in Merlin's paled expression and soaking tears tracks that rested on his face, the way the Ravens head lolled slightly, a sweet but small smile grew on Lancelot's face, despite it being tinged and tinted with regret and sadness.
"He's completely tuckered out, sobbed himself into unconsciousness." The men raised their heads, eyeing the sleeping man with concern.

Slowly, as to not rouse the Raven, they all moved away, watching as Lancelot laid Merlin back into the cot, the Ravens head lolling slightly, before he was resting back on his pillow, everyone content with the feeling that the Raven was here, with them, that Merlin hadn't passed away and that he wasn't gone, that Merlin wasn't going to fade away and die before their eyes.

They all returned to their seats and watched as the Raven boy slept, content with the knowledge that Merlin wasn't going anywhere.

The men, all but Lancelot, Gwaine and Arthur, closed their eyes and slept, the image of the Raven behind their eye lids.