jawbreaker [eyeless jack]

Chapter One

No matter how many times I turned the knob on the radio, turning it higher and higher, it refused to drown out the ringing of my phone. At this point I wasn't sure what I was more aggravated at, the fact it kept ringing or the fact I kept checking it.

Was I making sure it was still him? Or was I seeing if it might've been Gage? Was I holding myself from answering? Or was I still too angry to acknowledge it?

Finally I shut my phone off and threw it in the backseat, running a hand through my hair slowly.

It was a two hour drive from my house to the small cabin I rented out for the month, the one small peace in my life I have yet to enjoy. I specifically picked the most secluded and farthest one, it was beside a lake and sat in the woods beside it. It was like a dream come true.

A month with myself and the forest is exactly what will cure me.

After I stopped at the small corner store and gathered about twelve packs of Marlboro's and a few cases of Fireball, the only alcohol I could stand, I headed for the small trail up the woods.

It grew smaller and smaller as I drove up, the trees growing thicker and darker. The lake was right beside me through the trees the entire time, I couldn't wait to walk down to it and dive in.

Anticipation filled me as several scenarios flew through my head. Sitting on the dock with a cigarette that I usually hate smoking, watching the sun set. Sitting outside on the porch while watching the sun rise in a blanket. Having a large bed all to myself, getting to sleep in for as long as I want.

I turned the radio down as my smile went up, my car finally stopping in front of the cabin I was going to call home for the next four weeks.

I know I passed a few cabins on the way here, but I saw none on this specific trail. I'm sure people had to be in them. I didn't hate the idea but I did come here to be alone after all. I don't think it's possible to not at least run into one person if I'm at the lake at least.

I brought my two bags in, dropping them in the living room as my mouth fell open in astonishment. The living room was huge, a large red rug with green designs on it. A single long couch sat behind a window that had the curtains pulled together, and on the other side sat a small box TV.

It was so large yet... Tiny. I loved it!

I jumped through the connecting kitchen and down the tiny hall to the single bathroom, automatically jumping onto it with joy. It was so small and cute here, I loved it already.

I pulled the curtains open as I started to unpack my things, putting it inside the drawers of the dresser then putting my bathroom stuff in the bathroom.

It dawned upon me that I only had cigarettes and alcohol that I didn't even plan to use unless I suddenly had another breakdown, I had no food. I need to go shopping.

~

It was already night by the time I arrived back home with arm loads of bags. I had trouble opening the door and putting the food where it needed to be, and also plugging in the refrigerator that barely ran.

It was nine PM, the only channels that played were old western ones that still had black and white. I for some reason watched them for about two hours, oddly interested in their little stories of finding pretty women and the main character having centuries of beef with a random man in a hat.

I regretted turning my phone back on, I had twenty missed calls from Bryant. And one from Gage, I called him back.

He answered immediately, "Alli? Why didn't you answer earlier?"

"I shut my phone off because of Bryant, he called twenty times. Can you believe it?"

My little brother laughed, I could hear him moving from the other side.

"No, I don't believe it. Are you sure it wasn't fifty?"

I laughed, "yeah, you're right. I need to re-check."

We sat in silence for a few moments, I knew he was smiling because I was. "What's the cabin like? How many spiders have you found?"

"None, yet. It's really... Crappy, I love it though."

"You hate nature. I don't know why you didn't rent out an apartment in like... New York, or something."

"People who actually live in New York can't find suitable apartments."

I wasn't sure if Gage laughed or sighed, maybe a bit of both. Just talking to him for a few seconds made me feel extremely lonely all of a sudden, I haven't been apart from him in years since we still lived together.

Gage was the only family I had, after mom and dad left us a long time ago. We did have an uncle but he's... Whatever. I didn't have to raise Gage too much, he was already thirteen by the time our uncle also pissed off, I was eighteen by that time.

"Can I come visit yet?"

"It's been eight hours, Gage."

"Well what about tomorrow?"

"Just stay home! You have Millie and Copper to take care of," I reminded him of our cats, he gave a sigh in defeat. "Okay... Then just don't die."

I laughed, "I'll try."

After saying our goodbyes I got settled in for bed, and I didn't even have to plug in my fan for sound tonight. The crickets and leaves outside were louder than I would've liked, but it sent me to sleep instantly.