An Intangible Pattern - Fate Bound.

Closing In

His breath caught and he replied softly, "Yeah, well, I hurt you first. I think I can forgive you, all things considered."

He thought about what kind of pain she had to be in to override her fear and drive her into his arms.

"What brought all of this on?" He asked, stroking her hair.

"Have you seen the news?"

"No."

She took a breath,

"They found the other man, the one from the alley, dead. Murdered. I thought that would make me happy, but it doesn't."

She sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes.

Noah gave her a reassuring squeeze, but closed his eyes in chagrin. On the one hand, the world would not miss one more thug, but on the other, two leads with information about who was distributing a dangerous drug to omegas were now gone.

"They interviewed his mother and It made me think of their families. That I am the reason..." she couldn't finish her sentence.

"You can't control that." He kissed her hair.

"But it's my fault. If I hadn't been there, none of it would have happened. I should never have left the sanitorium!" She blurted, her voice hoarse with the effort to speak.

"So what? Can't the same be said for them? Or me for that matter? Why do you think you were the only one to blame?"

"Because that's how everyone else will see it. They'll say I brought it on myself, that I should have known better and been more careful, and now because of me a man is dead."

Words stuck in his throat. He wanted to argue, but he knew she was right. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair; but that was exactly how society would judge her. Worst of all, it was clear it was how she judged herself.

"Everyone else is wrong." He replied determinedly, "At some point, we are all responsible for the outcome of our own actions. I'm not saying those men deserved to die, though if I'm honest, I'm not sad about it.

What happened to them happened because they didn't care about anyone but themselves. They took it for granted that everyone else was beneath them; that other people would make way for them and just put up with every shitty thing they did because it's 'their nature'. I know because I get the same treatment.

Don't take more than your fair share of the blame, and certainly not for us, because the truth is, it's our behaviour and our responsibility to change it. Don't beat yourself up for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They could easily have taken suppressants but they didn't. You are allowed to live, Alex!"

"Shouldn't I also be held accountable for my actions?"

"What actions? Getting a coffee? Running from me? Defending yourself? Fuck Alex, if anything, you did the world a favour." He sat up and positioned her so he could see her face. She looked away and tried to hide her swollen eyes. He held her face and brushed away her tears with his thumbs.

"It's admirable that you care about their families, it shows you're a decent person and that's where you differ from them. Do you think they cared about the families of the omegas they sold poison to?"

"That still doesn't make it right." she mumbled.

"Maybe not, but even so! You were trying to survive; they just wanted to get rich. They woke up every day and made the decision to hurt people while you acted on impulse. It's not the same thing and it matters. You are not evil Alex."

Her lip trembled and she bowed her head into her hands sobbing. He drew her in and held her tight until her grief subsided. Her stomach gave a loud growl and she let out an embarrassed laugh between her sobs.