Broken ~ A Jonnor Fanfiction

Chapter 2

Gym class was my most feared class of the day, Connor was in it and he got to watch me fail at every activity we did. Sometimes we were forced to be partners and I would only talk to him if I had no choice. It was hard at first but now it was just an instinct not to look him in the eyes.

"Everyone partner up with the person on your left," Mr. Gute shouts roughly.

I look to my left and see Connor, I sigh and move to him. He sees me and I can feel his heart pounding through the air.

I hadn't eaten in two days, that's all I remember. When we began running lines my vision blurred up, I began swaying back and forth. I heard shouts from many people, and a confused Connor running towards me. Then I fell back and there was darkness.

My head was pounding when I woke up. I looked around and saw I was in a hospital. Stef and Lena jumped up when they saw my eyes open.

"Jude!"

"What happened," I mumble.

"You passed out due to malnutrition and you hit your head so hard you had to get stitches." Lena informs.

"Now, Jude. Malnutrition, that means you weren't eating enough or the right things, but we all know why it happened. Your appetite has gotten extremely small and we think you need to go into treatment."

"What? It's not like I'm freaking anorexic!" I shout.

"Well, according to the doctors, you are in the first stages of it."

"I don't think I'm fat! I didn't want to lose weight! I'm just not hungry," I scream even louder.

Lena and Stef look at each other, and then leave the room to talk to the doctor. He then comes in.

"Jude, have you been involved with drugs?" He asks.

"No."

"Have you been feeling down lately?"

"I guess."

"Okay, for how long?"

"Two months," I sigh.

"Any trouble sleeping?"

"A little."

"Okay, Jude. Don't be scared, but we are going to have you take a depression test."

They take some blood samples and hand me a packet of paper with many questions. I fill it all out. Then my phone goes off. I look at it realizing I haven't looked at it in a day.

62 unread messages from Connor

I sigh, they are all just my name and I'm scared are you okay?

Connor: jude ik you're mad please answer im so scared

Jude: go away. you don't actually care. you don't care about me at all or you would've fucking talked to me in these past two months.

Connor: i do all the time, you ignore me.

Jude: i said talk. not say hi and what's up. talking as in asking me why the hell im always so sad and shit. or you haven't noticed cause u r too busy fucking daria.

And with that Connor stops texting me. I frown and Lena comes back in.

"Jude. You lost so much weight. You are 5 feet tall and 70 pounds. That's 15 pounds then last time we came in and you've grown."

My jaw drops. For the first time I look down at my body. My bones sticking out of me and my veins popping out. In a mirror across the room I see my dark under eyes and my dull, thin looking hair. I look awful.

The doctor comes in again with my paper test results.

"Jude, according to the paper test, you do have depression. Medium level. We recommend therapy and medication."

I just stop talking. Once we are home I run upstairs and the Fosters have a family meeting where they announce that I am a screw up. Well, they don't say that, but I bet they think it.

At school within three periods people start giving me looks. Someone in our family told someone. A few kid walk past me and pretend to cry, then high five their friend. It's ridiculous.

Connor sees me and instantly runs to me and I start walking away.

"Jude. Please." He's crying. "What happened to us? What did I even do." I turn around and see his eyes bloodshot and full of tears. "Are you okay, please just tell me if you're okay. Say something."

"I have depression and anorexia. I'm doing amazing," I almost hiss at him and then I start walking away. Suddenly he grabs my arms and pushes me into the bathroom.

"What the fuck Connor, leave me alone."

"No. I've had it, tell me what I did wrong." It scares me to see him this serious.

"What were you going to say to me the last time we hung out?" I ask.

"Oh my god. That's what this is? Dude, I'm not gay." He shouts even though I didn't even mention him being gay. Then he leaves, it feels like a punch in the guts, but worse.