Dear Darlin', please excuse my writing. I can't stop my hands from shaking - Olly Murs
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Violet - Friday
I wake up with a huge lump in my throat, making me widen my eyes and sprint to the bathroom. I fall to my knees and puke everything I ate yesterday out in the toilet. Lydia was immediately by my side, holding my hair together.
"You okay?" She asks softly as I flow the toilet, resting my hand and head on the lit. I nod weakly and sigh.
"Probably of the food of yesterday."
"You ate the exact same thing as I and I'm perfectly fine." She frowns and I sit back, leaning against the bathtub.
"I have a different body than you Lyd." I chuckle at her and she sighs, "How about your period."
"What about it?" I frown and she sits down too now.
"When were you planning on having your period?"
I can't... I'm not... Oh no.
"A-a few days ago. Can't it just be late?" I ask panicked and jump up, having to hold the sink or I fell down. Lydia held my shoulder while I caught my breath, shaking my head.
"I can't be pregnant Lydia, I can't."
She looks with soft eyes and I hold tears, grabbing my toothbrush and start brushing my teeth. Why does this happen now?!
"Come on, we have to buy a pregnancy test." Lydia tells me softy as we walk into my bedroom and I shake my head, my very stubborn attitude showing
"No, I'm not buying a pregnancy test. I'm not pregnant. My period is just late and throwing up was because of the food. I'm not pregnant Lyd."
She sighs, but gives a nod. I smile thankfully at her and she leaves my room, making me go back in the bed again.
Trust me, I love to have a little one with Harry. But now is just not the time, Harry is gone for almost a year and I'm not sure if I can raise it alone. I don't know wether to hope for it or not.
But I thought of what Harry would say. Probably something like, "Don't worry, we'll figure something out." Because basically, we always did. We survived but we only survive together. That's why I'm so afraid of him being there and I'm being here. But it was his dream to serve the country and I want nothing more for him to follow his dreams. He wouldn't done the same thing for me.
I don't know where Lydia went, nor I should. Harry and I live here, Lydia is just here to keep me up. Because to be honest, I won't even go out without her.
Harry and I have lived together for a year, well more than a year. It's this cute brick walled, leave covered house just outside Cheshire, where we were both born and raised. The front yard was full with flowers, all green and cozy. I love it, gladly Harry does too.
The house has a downstairs and a upstairs. Upstairs with two bedrooms, a bathroom and office. Downstairs with a living room, kitchen and toilet. It wasn't big, but it was just right for us.
I heard the front door open, followed by footsteps on the stairs. My door opened and Lydia stepped in, a plastic bag in her hands. I close my eyes and pull the duvet over my head.
"Vi."
I ignored her and felt the bed dip down.
"Violet."
No response.
"Violet, stop the childish behaviour and do the damn test." Her patience ran up and I sigh.
"I can't do it."
"You can and you will, now hop on." She slapped my arm and I groaned, slapping her without looking.
"Miss." I could hear her grin and I throw the duvets away, seeing that I'm right. I roll my eyes at her and get up.
"You have to wait sixty seconds." She tells and I look down, grabbing the test and walk in to the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet and look at the test, biting my lip. This will change my life.
"And?" I hear Lydia through the door.
"I can't do it Lyd." My voice shakes and Lydia sighs, "It will be okay Vi. Me and Niall are here for you. Harry will be back too."
"You don't know that." I sob and Lydia opens the door, kneeling down in front of me.
"He will return Violet, I promise you that. And what if your pregnant? He'll return to you both, he'll be a dad. Harry can't stop rambling about he would be so excited and happy if you would be pregnant." She smiles and I let out a small laugh, wiping my tears.
"Aren't we too young Lyd?"
"To my honesty, yes you are. But age is just a number. You two would be the best parents I know. You two care for Fay like she's your own, everyone knows how incredible you two are to kids."
"What if my parents wouldn't like it? They never wanted me to have a kid before I marry." I sob and she sighs, squeezing my knee.
"But that was before they met Harry. Your parents are best friends with his parents. Your father, the snappiest man I know, calls him son! They adore him Vi."
That was very true. My dad was always very strict and snappy, acting like that to everyone. But when Harry came, he loosened up because of his bad jokes and perfect smile. My father became an other person, laughing and smiling with Harry. My mother was at first sight blown away, she immediately liked him. She even bought my dress for prom, which I normally had to buy myself.
"Okay." I breath and nod my head, unpacking the test.
"You can do it." She smiles at me and leaves the room. I sigh deeply and do as the destructions tell me, peeing on the stick.
In this minute, my life could take the biggest turn ever. I could be a mom, at the age of twenty one.
One minute.
I grab the stick and I didn't know wether to smile or not. I put the stick on the sink and exit the bathroom, looking at Lydia with teary eyes. She gasps and jumps up, me immediately breaking down in her arms.
"You have to tell him Vi."
"I can't, oh god I can't." I sob, putting my hands in front of my face. Lydia takes a step back and remove my hands, looking me into the eyes.
"You have to Violet."
I let out a small sob and nod, walking to the small office at the end of the hall. I sit down behind the dark desk and take a deep breath, grabbing the paper and pen. My hands were shaking and the tears didn't stop, leaving several drops on the paper.
Dear Harry,
I know this is my second letter, you probably didn't receive my last one yet. But I needed to tell you something.
I woke up this morning, having to throw up everything I ate yesterday. Luckily, Lydia was there. I thought it was because of the food, until I realised my period isn't here yet.
I'd rather do this over the phone but...
I'm pregnant Harry.
We're having a baby.
